Life just gives you time & space; it's up to you to fill it.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Humor me

I was reading about faux pas related to Cancer patients on a blog yesterday and thought I should share one of my own. I am sure on a day-to-day basis we would come across many such incidents, totally unrelated to cancer, and have been responsible for a few of them ourselves, although it is just human to err, do we know that we might be hurting someone sometimes?

On my flight from Adelaide to Singapore I had this aisle seat behind a huge guy who had decided to sleep the entire journey. So, his seat was reclined almost always except when the flight attendants reminded him otherwise. I was uncomfortably watching the movies on the little screen and each time he moved I had to adjust the screen accordingly. I was annoyed and made a mental note to see his face. When I was getting ready to alight at Singapore, I noticed that he was probably a fellow Indian or maybe one of our friendly neighborhood countrymen! Not wanting to have any conversation with him I just turned pretending not having seen him.

I was obviously not good at pretending, since the guy whom I detested for the past few hours, managed to ask me how my flight was! Not wanting to be impolite, I just bluntly replied that it was OK (of course sitting behind him didn't help, but how could I say that to a stranger!). I was slightly happy when people started moving so that I could lose him on the way out. I did for a few seconds only to realize a little bit later that he was right behind me asking me about Adelaide. Apparently he was visiting this place for a conference and felt that the city had not changed in the past 20 years and it was a "sleepy little town". Now, I hardly knew this city 20 years ago, I love it now, so didn't have much to comment. Seeing my resistance his next question was my reason for visiting Singapore. When I said that it was for my father's treatment, his response took me off guard. He explained that his father had undergone a surgery 3 weeks ago and did not take it too well and passed away in a few days. Like that was the most important thing for me to know about right then!

I am sure he didn't mean ill, but when someone is concerned about a family member is it really necessary to bring up things that might hurt them? The thing that worried me more was that he was hardly depressed about what had happened to his father. In fact he was even joking saying that his old man didn't pull through the surgery and asked me to speak to my father's surgeons. My thought was - is this an omen for Singapore! Some people!!!

But, reading other people's experiences made me laugh. One of them from a cancer patient -
Shortly after my husband and I both shaved our heads (his was for support of course), my husband was at a coffee place that he frequents regularly. The woman who regularly serves him asked about his shaved head. He explained my situation and another worker actually said, "Aw, I hope she makes it." WHAT?!

Another one I liked -
I lost about 70 pounds after my stomach cancer ordeal and I constantly have people come up to me and say, "Wow! You've lost a lot of weight! What's your secret?
"Stomach Cancer," I answer cheerily, "but I wouldn't recommend it."
That's always followed by "Oh I'm so sorry" and then tangible awkwardness.

Another from a doctor -
The doc was trying to console my husband who was dealing with his 39 yr old wife, mother of 5, being diagnosed with cancer.
He said, "Well, you have to die from something."

A cancer patient with a kiddo -
I work with children, and one little boy was looking at my face really hard one day [i was wearing my wig at this point, so he didn't know i was bald]. He put his hands on his hips and said to me -- "Ms. Captain, you don't have any eyebrows! Where'd they go?" He was genuinely concerned, so I said to him, "Well, they're part of the eyebrow union, so they're on their manditory three month vacation." He got a very concerned look on his face and asked me, "MY eyebrows aren't part of the 'onion' are they?"

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Great to be Back :-)

After 3 hectic weeks at Singapore running between the temporary "home" and the hospital, flying back to the real "home" was beautiful. Our worries about how dad would take the 6 hour flight turned out to be unnecessary since he slept through it like a baby. I tried watching a little bit of the movie - Shootout At Lokhandwala - and a few minutes were enough to steer me away from it!

The Immigration was uneventful, but the Customs, as it has always been for me each time I enter Australia, was a damper. The officer wanted to check all our suitcases (3 large ones and 2 small ones), only because she suspected Indian spices apparently. In spite of telling her that we traveled from Singapore and not from India, her comment was that you get all the Indian spices at Singapore - fair enough I guess! After searching all those boxes and spending 15 minutes finding nothing, she took a packet of almonds and said she would have to get rid of it since it was not roasted. I have never heard of anybody throwing away dried almonds, anyway since I did not have the energy to argue I let her take it. I did not see her disposing it in the bin, so don't know what happened of it ;-)

Seeing hubby after 3 weeks was heavenly and so was breathing the Adelaide air. It was a nice and warm day. Home was sweeter than ever and seeing it unexpectedly clean refreshed me all over again. Meeting friends was another thing that kept my spirits high. Friday night catching the latest Bourne and the 20-20 match at the Jain's residence almost felt like I had never left this place!

Dad is recovering from the so called "major major" surgery. He is enjoying his short walks during the day in our humble neighborhood. Both mom and dad are enjoying all the programs in Sun TV and K TV (the only 2 Tamil channels available here), even though they could watch all they wanted in Chennai, they never really watched much of TV there. I am sure all the Comedy DVDs would come in handy now :-)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Adelaide Ahoy!

This whole episode has taught me how even small things are so important in life and how we should enjoy every moment for who knows what is in store next. After getting clearances from both the surgeons for dad to travel, we had a decision to make - if he should go to Chennai or if he should come to Adelaide. It was 1 against 2 and the little one (me) won the debate and convinced both the papa bear and mama bear that Adelaide would be the best place for dad's recovery. I enjoyed every bit of the decision making (which went on for 3-4 hours) even when there were equal -ves for Adelaide as many as +ves for Chennai. Yet, "Love" took over. So, Adelaide here we come :-)

Dad is very happy about coming to Adelaide and continuing his treatment there. Away from work and all the stress he has been dealing with back home. I am sure the clean air and the tension-free environment would do him some good. At present he is still dull that he is not able to carry on with his duties as he normally would, but isn't that expected of a surgery this big! Another thing that bugs him is people talking about the "C" word - Cancer! I am sure that is understandable too, in any battle talking about the enemy is like accepting defeat, so we try and avoid speaking anything about it to him other than success stories to inspire him. Considering that he is in such a fragile state, we are trying to give in to all his wishes.

Upon the docs' advise, dad has begun his drill of walking every evening. He is supposed to start slowly and then go on to walk about an hour every day. Some docs advise early morning walk to breathe the fresh air and avoid the crowd. I was thinking to myself that that is probably true for Chennai, not for Adelaide especially in Maswon Lakes where we hardly get to see a soul any time of the day ;-)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Some Photos

I have published some of dad's treatment photos here - http://picasaweb.google.com/vidya.babu/SingaporeGlenEaglesHospital

For people who have seen him before, he has lost 15 Kgs over the past 6 months and it really shows! I hope he can regain atleast half of it really quickly and recover from the surgery well...

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Out of Hospital :-)

Dad got discharged today and we are back home (the apartment we have rented for our stay here). I feel dad looks a lot better once he is out of the hospital room and out of the blue gown, which probably made him half sick. He was ridden of all the tubes yesterday. The doctors have advised him to resume normal food, but go easy for another week with small amounts and more number of meals, preferably soft diet for the first few days. Dr. Tay, dad's colon surgeon was joking that he should be fed like a baby and be pampered :-)

Our next appointment is on Tuesday for a blood test and consulting Dr. Tan and the Oncologist Dr. Peter Ang. That is when we would know when dad should start his post-operative chemo and based on that his travel plans. Hopefully the ordeal is over and things flow in smooth from now. Even imagining myself in dad's place sends shivers. I guess that is why the Cancer Survivors call themselves the strong ones! This site helped a real lot in this journey - http://www.acscsn.org/search
It is the American Cancer Society's Forum for Cancer Survivors.