Life just gives you time & space; it's up to you to fill it.

A Message from Beyond?

2010-08-11T16:02:00.009+09:30

Appa had this favorite clock that hung in our dining room which was modeled as an ancient clock made of wood. He spent a lot of time searching for a model that would satisfy his quest for those grandfather type clocks and finally bought this one so it must have been special. As far as I can remember he took a lot of pride in keeping it clean and also making sure that the batteries were changed as soon as they wore out, so the clock never stopped for more than a couple of hours at the max. This was during his healthy days.

After his surgery for liver resection 3 years ago, he stayed with us for 3 months and then went back home. Apparently his first instinct upon return was to check if the clock was still running and heaved a sigh of relief to see that it was. His comment to mum was that since the clock was still running he had some more time on this planet. Wow!

This time when I went back upon hearing his condition, I didn't pay much attention to that clock except to check the time. It was still running and I didn't know about his belief with respect to the clock. Precisely a week after dad's passing I noticed that the clock had stopped too and that is when mum told me about his earlier comment. That sort of sent shivers through my spine. The time on the clock was 3:30. Being busy with all the post-funeral ceremonies, I didn't think of changing the batteries. After that we moved temporarily to my grandparents' place, so once again I lost a chance of getting it back to run.

About a week later when I came back home, I couldn't help but noticing that the time on the clock had changed. The house was locked all this while so nobody could have entered to prank us. From what was 3:30 a week ago it was showing 3:55. Why would that be so significant? 3:55 was the time of dad's leaving this world!!! I was shocked beyond words and kept staring at his photo, silently asking him if he was sending us a message through his favorite clock.

We normally tend to believe that articles that don't have life cannot be connected to, but this was an amazing experience to see how this belief could be wrong. The practical person in me still believes that probably there was some life left in the battery to make it work, but then again I ask myself why or how would it stop exactly at 3:55 not a minute here or there???

My Life with Appa

2010-08-03T12:06:00.005+09:30

My earliest memories of Appa are from my toddler days. As most fathers he would do anything to keep his only daughter happy. He got scolded for pampering me but that did not deter him. It only got us closer. I still remember when I preferred him to look after me while he was around even though mum spent most time with me. The days he went away on business trips used to be the hardest for me and I even hid his tickets once so he would not leave me and go. He was very upset that time but yet did not scold me (maybe he was happy not to go too).

He used to religiously drop me off at school on his way to work on our scooter and I used to enjoy the ride – standing in the front while I was little and sitting behind him holding his tummy real tight when I grew up a bit. Those were blissful days. He always used to be at school to cheer me if I got an award or a rank and the pride in his eyes would be enough to encourage for the next year. He was a good badminton player and taught me the game so I could win some matches in the company tournaments. I loved playing with him since he treated me as an adult and advised me when I faltered rather than losing his cool.

This was the same attitude he maintained while teaching me to ride a bicycle. We had a huge ground in front of our house and I would have fallen a few times, but every time he was always there to lift me and console me until I could go fully around the ground. Sunday afternoons were for such activities that made him my role model. Once I had mastered the bicycle, he taught me how to ride his beloved scooter – a Lamby – even though I was too young for it. My dream used to be to be able to drive his car like him. To please him I used to clean it on days that I got ready quickly in the morning or on holidays. He let me start our Fiat Premier Padmini and that used to be a treat for being a good girl.

When I reached high school we bought our first piece of land and constructed our dream home for then. Dad and Mum took the role of architects and I was consulted in important matters to make me feel special. This house was quite far from my school, so we had to take the bus everyday and dad always accompanied me even if it was out of his way from his office. His head on collision with a truck was a blow to our otherwise normal life and put him out of action for 3 months. There were times when I wished he did not work and stayed home with me, but this was not how I wanted it to be.

As soon as he was back to work, he was sent to Indonesia for a project. I was sad that he wouldn’t be with us, but the thought of him flying overseas was more exciting. As a perfect husband and father, he sponsored us to visit him. That was a beautiful trip by the end of which there was a turning point in our lives. He was offered a job he couldn’t turn down for any reason other than me. He waited almost a year to make this crucial decision since I was in Year 11 / 12. He finally accepted the offer and moved to Indonesia although he made sure he visited us every 2 months even if for just a few days. I guess by this stage I started missing him lesser since I was busier with my studies and knew he was away from us for his own career development.

He travelled places and climbed up the management ladder, while still being a good father. He made sure that I got a glimpse of Europe while he and mum were placed there. That was a memorable experience and his joke with the Sri Lankan cricket team on their exit from World Cup will always put a smile on my face even on the dullest of days. At the turn of the century and while I was completing my Bachelor’s, he decided it was time to move back to be with me, but unfortunately this was the stage where I wanted to fly away from their nest. He single-handedly backed me with my decision to fly to the US to pursue my Masters’. He came along with me to set me up which showed how much he cared for me.

Those 2 years in the US, made me a bit cold and detached from the 2 most precious people of my life, even though they tried to be there as much as they could. When I finally got back to the nest it was not the same. Dad got extremely busy with work and I hardly got to see him even though he was not travelling much. In a few days marriage happened and that surely drifted me from him even further since I moved to Australia. Priorities change and I thought this was normal only to be proven wrong.

The diagnosis of cancer brought a very emotional phase. Our will as a family was put to an ultimate test. The fight was his but the battle was ours. We wanted him to be victorious as we have always seen him. The decision to go with surgery was the first step in this long battle and I had the honour of looking after him through that and after. But, the disease was not one to give up easily and kept coming back. He fought with everything he had and yet had the energy to help me out with my new baby. He absolutely adored his grandson and I could see just how much he would have loved me when I was a baby. My respect for him grew with each passing day and was very happy that I could spend quality time with him. But, there was always the fear of what if the cancer got the better of him. In my greed to keep him with me, we decided on a new treatment which we thought would completely cure him.

This in fact deteriorated him maybe because of all the treatments his body had already gone through. He still did not lose hope and kept on fighting, his short term goal was to celebrate his 60^th birthday in a grand way. I was extremely happy to see his will power take him through the elaborate ceremony. He went through it as though he was perfectly normal. Slowly the cancer was spreading and there was not much we could do other than to see him decline. I wanted to look after him towards the end of his life just the way he did at the beginning of my life. I was only partially successful in this since I had my own family. It is funny how you have to share your time between the ones that gave you your life with the ones that you gave life to.

The news of him suffering in his last few days caused a lot of heart ache and the thought of losing him was scary. Even in all this pain he kept reassuring me that he was fine and asked me not to worry about him. I wish he passed on some of his virtues to me via his genes. As much as I was softly persuaded by others to go back and be with him, I was reluctant to see him suffering and hold those as last memories of him. The day I finally did go back to see him, he was fully on life support and the image of a strong man being tied down by tubes and not conscious to even feel his daughter made me cry. Sometimes I wish I had not gone back, because maybe then he would have been just fine. The doctor’s advice of pulling the plug was like a nightmare, how could I take responsibility of taking away the life of the One who had given me this life? Thankfully Appa as much as he cared for me didn’t give me that misfortune and passed away on his own. It was very difficult to see him in that state, but seeing him suffer any more would have been tougher.

All I could do was to stare at his body that supported me all along and silently pray that his soul rest in peace while knowing that now nobody could separate him from me – not even cancer. It still feels like he is around me, guiding me in every possible way. I LOVE YOU APPA and THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME!

The Nile Cruise

2007-11-27T16:03:00.001+10:30

This post has been sitting in my unpublished blogs for almost 2 years - I was in hibernation all this while, so thought will show it some light :-)

Our wish of visiting one of the oldest civilizations came true this summer. After the beautiful Greece it was destination Egypt for us. We flew into Cairo for half a day while visiting the Khan-El-Khalili Bazaar which supposedly began operating from the 14th century. The system works like any bazaar in India, where you had to bargain to get the best deal and we not being veterans in this area, were not the best shoppers, but did fair better than some of the tourists from countries where bargaining is unknown.

We had a glimpse of the Pyramids from the car, knowing that we would be coming back to see it, but surprised all the same to know how close to the city the Pyramids were built or how much the city must have expanded! We flew the same day to Aswan where we were to join the Moon Cruise to Luxor. We had a shocking incident at the Airport where our driver was delayed and we spent half hour frantically trying to find some help in a place where everybody seemed so friendly, but no money no help. The Airport was really small and closed 10 minutes after we landed once all the passengers were outside. We forgot all about this incident once we entered our cruise which seemed like a floating 5-Star Hotel. Our guide met with us and explained all the formalities.

The following morning he took us to the Unfinished Obelisk. It lies in a quarry untouched from 3000 years ago because of a crack running through its body. Its estimated weight being 1000 tons, which would have made it the heaviest Obelisk if it were to stand erect. The explanation of how the gigantic stone would have been transported and erected in a temple is an interesting story, considering that they were not technology savvy in those days, yet used their brains in better ways. After this, we went to the High Dam of Aswan, built a few decades ago with the help of Russians. This helped in preventing the flooding of the Nile and also supported irrigation. The Nasser Lake formed by this Dam is 350 square kilometres and is divided between Egypt and Jordan and is full of crocodiles.

We were then taken to a Perfume Factory called the “Essence of Life” where we were demonstrated how the big perfume manufacturers made perfume from a few essential oils. They had a very impressive collection of oils and glass blown bottles. Amazing how the ancient Egyptians paid so much attention to vanity. After this was one of the highlights of the whole trip – a ride on the Falukkah. The Falukkah as such is a boat which has no motor, it drifts in the direction of the wind with the help of its sail. It was so serene and peaceful that I still think about it and makes me feel good.

The same day our cruise moved from Aswan and set sail towards Luxor. The first stop was at the Temple of Kom-ombo. This was an ancient temple for Horus (the Falcon God) and Sobek (the Crocodile God). They had embalmed a crocodile family (mother, father and child) from 3000 years ago and they are still intact. The temple had inscriptions depicting dental surgery and a level to measure the flooding of the river to determine the tax for that year. Once we had finished our tour, we were told that there would be an Egyptian dinner on board the cruise and everybody had to be dressed traditionally in Galabaiyas! That was a beautiful night of good food and great dances by all the crew and the passengers.

The next morning we were woken up early to visit the temple of Edfu. This temple was dedicated to Horus and retained a lot of colours from the ancient paintings, but had deteriorated over the years since it was used as a shelter during the war periods of Middle Age. The day was relaxing as such and later in the afternoon we arrived at Esna which had a Lock. This meant that at a time only two ships could cross the lock, one either way, so we ended up waiting almost 8 hours. The food on the cruise was excellent and I was surprised how much variety they had for a Vegetarian, I went thinking I would be fed grass!

The next morning we arrived at Luxor. Our Guide warned us that it would be a busy day and so it was. Our first stop was to the Valley of Kings where the Kings and Noble Men were buried. They have discovered 62 tombs, the latest being that of Tuth-Ankh-Amun’s. This place is camouflaged very well and is surrounded by 2 sandy mountains. Apparently in those days the Egyptian Kings decided the place they wanted to be buried and had informed Priests and a secret sect of workers about this. They then built his tomb as per his wishes and when he died the Priest led the procession to his tomb and they put him in the Sarcophage and filled his tomb with all his belongings and things he used over the years. We had the luxury of visiting 3 of the 62 tombs and the beauty within was breath taking. If only we had learnt some hieroglyphics to understand the inscriptions. Right next to the Valley of Kings is the Temple of Hatshepsut – the first female ruler of Egypt. The temple is built over 3 levels and shows how much importance the ancient Egyptians gave to women.

After this we visited an Alabaster factory, where they demonstrated how they mage the various figurines. The shop was filled with colourful articles but very expensive. On the way back to the city we stopped over at 2 gigantic statues considered the Mother and Wife of Memnon. The Luxor Temple in the city was huge and resembled an Indian temple in many ways. The Statues of Ramses still stood tall and the Sanctuary (holy place) had the serenity of all the prayers performed centuries ago. The ram-headed sphinxes ran in parallel for 3.2 Kms between the Luxor Temple and the Karnak Temple. Although, now some of them have been buried or stolen.

The Karnak Temple, believed to be one of the biggest man made monuments because of its size spells grandeur. It was built and rebuilt over 1500 years and every King wanted his signature over the Temple. The entrance is magnificent with 134 pillars, each having inscriptions all around them to the ceiling. In the backyard there is a pool where the Priests used to bathe twice a day before performing the religious rites. Close to this is a pedestal with a huge Scarab Beetle considered a Good Luck charm by the Egyptians. Towards the inner of the temple, there were 2 Obelisks – one for Hatshepsut and one for her father Tuthmosis – I. The story behind the Obelisk of Hatshepsut was pretty interesting. Her half brother Tuthmosis – II was not happy with an Obelisk for his sister and wanted to embarrass her, so he built a wall surrounding it. It turned out that this wall acted as a protection for the Obelisk which is still intact. Just sitting in the Hypostyle Hall (Pillars Room) and imagining the life lived by the Pharoahs and the elaborate ceremonies, was a beautiful feeling.

This was the end of our Nile Cruise and it was time to fly back to Cairo.

Memories of Today

2007-11-16T14:39:00.000+10:30

Remember the first day your daddy dropped you off at school? Remember the day when you got your first beating from your strict teacher? Remember the kid whom you had a secret crush on in primary school and imagined how you would spend the rest of your life with them? Remember the report card which you were afraid to show your parents? Remember those harmless pranks you played on strangers? Remember those college ragging days and how you were scared of your seniors? Remember the first day you met your true love? I am sure the list will go on…

I have these sudden revelations about simple things and one such eye-opener was that today will never come back again! What you do today would probably be a memory tomorrow, but the day as such is gone. I know it is a mundane thought, but that led to more reflection as to how I would want to remember today. Not everyday is worth remembering, but it is up to us to make more such days memorable. It is like the photos you collect to cherish at a later date. How many photos you make shows how much you want to look back.

Have you ever felt that childhood memories are the strongest etched in our minds? I am not sure if it is just me or if it is the same for others too, but I can remember very clearly all those rainy days while we were out playing and those sunny days still outside not caring to listen to our mother’s pleas to stay indoors. Those days when going to your neighbour’s house unannounced was considered normal and staying the whole day including for all meals while playing with your best friend and still not hearing a word of complaint from his / her mother. Those were days of innocence and the memories are as fresh.

Fast forwarding a little bit, college days even though not as innocent, are still unbiased and hence I remember my first day in college in a city which I had visited so many times but never was a part of, so felt brand new to start a life there. Those unassuming days of making new friends for life and the joint pranks on the lecturers feel like it was just yesterday. All those were days when we never had to worry about what lay ahead tomorrow and hence today was all we had to worry about, I think that is probably the reason that we lived them to the full.

Fast forwarding to the current life, I feel like I have lost a lot of that innocence and ignorance in the race of existence. I feel like I am spending more time thinking of how I am going to make my tomorrow better and thus not living my today. I feel like in the quest of the unknown I am taking a lot of known for granted and hence not creating new memories. I need such revelations every now and then to remember those beautiful days and to remind me how today can be a beautiful memory with some effort.

After all, when we are old and have nobody around, it is only the memories that will stay on with us. Nobody can separate that from us not even ourselves. We can hardly forget certain things no matter how hard we try, so it is probably easier to keep the number of things to be forgotten lesser. There is no guarantee that tomorrow will be a better day, but it is up to us to make sure that our today is a better yesterday!

Desi BBQ

2007-10-10T16:31:00.000+09:30

This country down under is very famous for Barbecues (also called Barbie or BBQ) any time of the year and more so in the summer. Immigrants not wanting to be left behind have their own BBQs with their own set of people and I belong to the elite Indian BBQ Club! As the whole world knows India has a lot of flavours and varieties in food and extending this to the outdoor meal is another speciality.

So, come any long weekend and off we go with our mobile burners or if someone has a compact BBQ, then even better. The Ozzies normally only carry the bread and sausages, which they can cook on any BBQ in any park. But we being fussy vegetarians have to be very careful about where we cook our food, so I guess that explains the burners, but that’s not all, our packing includes a variety of vegetables – pickled and raw, sauces, cheeses, drinks and chips. Even thinking about it makes me feel full!

The munching starts once we have decided our BBQ location, starting with chips and drinks. The guys (BBQs are mainly intended for men to cook to give their wives a break from their routine, but in this generation I have hardly seen a man not share this daily chore, anyway nobody complains when the men volunteer to cook ;-) set up the burners / BBQs / stoves and mysteriously creeps in mouth watering Paneer Tikka. By the time it is grilled there is a long queue surrounding the chief chef waiting for a chance to taste the cheese cubes. It gets over in a jiffy and time comes for the Patties (We only like the Bird’s Eye – Bubble ‘n Squeak Veggie Patties, only because we have no other option) to get grilled.

Simultaneously the buns get toasted with some butter and are ready for the patties. Once the patties are cooked, we have mothers making a burger each for their children. The process of making a burger depends on individual’s taste. I usually like to taste a bit of everything, so let me explain mine. I first take the bottom side of the bun and put a lettuce leaf over it followed by some fried onions and fresh cut tomatoes. Then comes the yummy patty (which is good to eat by itself) and a slice of cheese. And then some canned veggies such as olives, jalapeños, roast capsicum. The burger is probably already overflowing. So, I take the other side of the bun and put some sauces – usually tomato and mayonnaise and unite the 2 sides before feeding my drooling mouth! Hmmm, needless to say, any effort (minimal really) that went into the preparation of the burger is well worth it for that glorious moment J

Humor me

2007-09-20T16:26:00.000+09:30

I was reading about faux pas related to Cancer patients on a blog yesterday and thought I should share one of my own. I am sure on a day-to-day basis we would come across many such incidents, totally unrelated to cancer, and have been responsible for a few of them ourselves, although it is just human to err, do we know that we might be hurting someone sometimes?

On my flight from Adelaide to Singapore I had this aisle seat behind a huge guy who had decided to sleep the entire journey. So, his seat was reclined almost always except when the flight attendants reminded him otherwise. I was uncomfortably watching the movies on the little screen and each time he moved I had to adjust the screen accordingly. I was annoyed and made a mental note to see his face. When I was getting ready to alight at Singapore, I noticed that he was probably a fellow Indian or maybe one of our friendly neighborhood countrymen! Not wanting to have any conversation with him I just turned pretending not having seen him.

I was obviously not good at pretending, since the guy whom I detested for the past few hours, managed to ask me how my flight was! Not wanting to be impolite, I just bluntly replied that it was OK (of course sitting behind him didn't help, but how could I say that to a stranger!). I was slightly happy when people started moving so that I could lose him on the way out. I did for a few seconds only to realize a little bit later that he was right behind me asking me about Adelaide. Apparently he was visiting this place for a conference and felt that the city had not changed in the past 20 years and it was a "sleepy little town". Now, I hardly knew this city 20 years ago, I love it now, so didn't have much to comment. Seeing my resistance his next question was my reason for visiting Singapore. When I said that it was for my father's treatment, his response took me off guard. He explained that his father had undergone a surgery 3 weeks ago and did not take it too well and passed away in a few days. Like that was the most important thing for me to know about right then!

I am sure he didn't mean ill, but when someone is concerned about a family member is it really necessary to bring up things that might hurt them? The thing that worried me more was that he was hardly depressed about what had happened to his father. In fact he was even joking saying that his old man didn't pull through the surgery and asked me to speak to my father's surgeons. My thought was - is this an omen for Singapore! Some people!!!

But, reading other people's experiences made me laugh. One of them from a cancer patient -
Shortly after my husband and I both shaved our heads (his was for support of course), my husband was at a coffee place that he frequents regularly. The woman who regularly serves him asked about his shaved head. He explained my situation and another worker actually said, "Aw, I hope she makes it." WHAT?!

Another one I liked -
I lost about 70 pounds after my stomach cancer ordeal and I constantly have people come up to me and say, "Wow! You've lost a lot of weight! What's your secret?
"Stomach Cancer," I answer cheerily, "but I wouldn't recommend it."
That's always followed by "Oh I'm so sorry" and then tangible awkwardness.

Another from a doctor -
The doc was trying to console my husband who was dealing with his 39 yr old wife, mother of 5, being diagnosed with cancer.
He said, "Well, you have to die from something."

A cancer patient with a kiddo -
I work with children, and one little boy was looking at my face really hard one day [i was wearing my wig at this point, so he didn't know i was bald]. He put his hands on his hips and said to me -- "Ms. Captain, you don't have any eyebrows! Where'd they go?" He was genuinely concerned, so I said to him, "Well, they're part of the eyebrow union, so they're on their manditory three month vacation." He got a very concerned look on his face and asked me, "MY eyebrows aren't part of the 'onion' are they?"

Great to be Back :-)

2007-09-18T15:00:00.000+09:30

After 3 hectic weeks at Singapore running between the temporary "home" and the hospital, flying back to the real "home" was beautiful. Our worries about how dad would take the 6 hour flight turned out to be unnecessary since he slept through it like a baby. I tried watching a little bit of the movie - Shootout At Lokhandwala - and a few minutes were enough to steer me away from it!

The Immigration was uneventful, but the Customs, as it has always been for me each time I enter Australia, was a damper. The officer wanted to check all our suitcases (3 large ones and 2 small ones), only because she suspected Indian spices apparently. In spite of telling her that we traveled from Singapore and not from India, her comment was that you get all the Indian spices at Singapore - fair enough I guess! After searching all those boxes and spending 15 minutes finding nothing, she took a packet of almonds and said she would have to get rid of it since it was not roasted. I have never heard of anybody throwing away dried almonds, anyway since I did not have the energy to argue I let her take it. I did not see her disposing it in the bin, so don't know what happened of it ;-)

Seeing hubby after 3 weeks was heavenly and so was breathing the Adelaide air. It was a nice and warm day. Home was sweeter than ever and seeing it unexpectedly clean refreshed me all over again. Meeting friends was another thing that kept my spirits high. Friday night catching the latest Bourne and the 20-20 match at the Jain's residence almost felt like I had never left this place!

Dad is recovering from the so called "major major" surgery. He is enjoying his short walks during the day in our humble neighborhood. Both mom and dad are enjoying all the programs in Sun TV and K TV (the only 2 Tamil channels available here), even though they could watch all they wanted in Chennai, they never really watched much of TV there. I am sure all the Comedy DVDs would come in handy now :-)

Adelaide Ahoy!

2007-09-10T10:43:00.000+09:30

This whole episode has taught me how even small things are so important in life and how we should enjoy every moment for who knows what is in store next. After getting clearances from both the surgeons for dad to travel, we had a decision to make - if he should go to Chennai or if he should come to Adelaide. It was 1 against 2 and the little one (me) won the debate and convinced both the papa bear and mama bear that Adelaide would be the best place for dad's recovery. I enjoyed every bit of the decision making (which went on for 3-4 hours) even when there were equal -ves for Adelaide as many as +ves for Chennai. Yet, "Love" took over. So, Adelaide here we come :-)

Dad is very happy about coming to Adelaide and continuing his treatment there. Away from work and all the stress he has been dealing with back home. I am sure the clean air and the tension-free environment would do him some good. At present he is still dull that he is not able to carry on with his duties as he normally would, but isn't that expected of a surgery this big! Another thing that bugs him is people talking about the "C" word - Cancer! I am sure that is understandable too, in any battle talking about the enemy is like accepting defeat, so we try and avoid speaking anything about it to him other than success stories to inspire him. Considering that he is in such a fragile state, we are trying to give in to all his wishes.

Upon the docs' advise, dad has begun his drill of walking every evening. He is supposed to start slowly and then go on to walk about an hour every day. Some docs advise early morning walk to breathe the fresh air and avoid the crowd. I was thinking to myself that that is probably true for Chennai, not for Adelaide especially in Maswon Lakes where we hardly get to see a soul any time of the day ;-)

Some Photos

2007-09-05T23:10:00.000+09:30

I have published some of dad's treatment photos here - http://picasaweb.google.com/vidya.babu/SingaporeGlenEaglesHospital

For people who have seen him before, he has lost 15 Kgs over the past 6 months and it really shows! I hope he can regain atleast half of it really quickly and recover from the surgery well...

Out of Hospital :-)

2007-09-01T17:28:00.000+09:30

Dad got discharged today and we are back home (the apartment we have rented for our stay here). I feel dad looks a lot better once he is out of the hospital room and out of the blue gown, which probably made him half sick. He was ridden of all the tubes yesterday. The doctors have advised him to resume normal food, but go easy for another week with small amounts and more number of meals, preferably soft diet for the first few days. Dr. Tay, dad's colon surgeon was joking that he should be fed like a baby and be pampered :-)

Our next appointment is on Tuesday for a blood test and consulting Dr. Tan and the Oncologist Dr. Peter Ang. That is when we would know when dad should start his post-operative chemo and based on that his travel plans. Hopefully the ordeal is over and things flow in smooth from now. Even imagining myself in dad's place sends shivers. I guess that is why the Cancer Survivors call themselves the strong ones! This site helped a real lot in this journey - http://www.acscsn.org/search
It is the American Cancer Society's Forum for Cancer Survivors.

One more day to go!

2007-08-31T00:10:00.000+09:30

Another day in the hospital, but as promised by the doctors, every day seemed better than the previous. Today almost all the tubes were gone by the time I entered dad's room in the morning. I had to collect a copy of the Histology report from the Asia Centre for Liver Disease in a separate wing of the Glen Eagles Hospital. As I was just entering dad's room, I saw that Dr. Tan and his team were checking on dad. He informed us that dad will be discharged on Saturday - woohoo! one more day to go! He also said that he would let us know about dad's chemotherapy early next week based on his recovery. The Oncologist feels that he would be ready for his next round of chemo by next week, although we are not so sure that he should assault his body further so quickly.

Dad looked very fresh after a clean shave and less things attached to his body. The only tube still remaining is the rectal tube for draining the excess blood from the surgery. The collection bag is pinned and hidden under his robe, so it is hardly visible. The Physiotherapist (Prithvi - a girl from Karnataka), who seems to be the favourite of all patients because of her pleasing ways, walked in to take dad for a walk and exercise. He came out with flying colours, climbing steps, doing sit-ups and other stretches for his abdomen, without complaining. He even made 3 rounds of the Liver Unit. Prithvi was very happy with his motivation and and asked him to repeat the exercises twice every day and walk as much as he could starting slowly. This way the wounds apparently heal quicker.

Dad was allowed soft diet today, which meant he could have porridge and oats. Since his appetite has died down and the taste of the hospital food is not exactly very inviting, he is able to handle very little. Hopefully, he can resume normal food soon. It feels really sad to look at him make faces at the porridge just as a child would upon looking at vegetables. He just has as minimum as he can and leaves the rest. I have gotten him into Sudoku as well, so he is solving some puzzles to pass time while he is not reading.

And, the verdict is out!

2007-08-29T00:46:00.000+09:30

Today I woke up early in the morning since Mom returned from the hospital to wish me for my Birthday. We got ready and went to the Murugan Temple before going to the hospital. The day started out nice and warm, receiving phone calls from close relatives and friends sending their wishes. Dad blessed me as usual and I was really happy to see the gifts sent by my dear hubby for both dad and myself. That was a pleasant surprise for me and dad was extremely happy about it, although he is still not permitted to eat any of the sweets or fruits. He could still smell the flowers and admire the beauty! Lately he has been appreciating all the friendly calls made to inquire about his health and he smiles upon hearing about them. The Nurses had removed the tubes coming out of his nose, to collect the gastric juices, and that made him look a lot brighter and more cheerful today.

We were waiting for the doctors to come by and tell us about the histology reports that we had been waiting for to tell us if the surgery was successful. Dr K.C. Tan and his team visited dad and said that an Oncologist would come and speak to us. Suddenly the day seemed very dull with the sky threatening to pour at any moment. We entered the Perumal Temple and it rained like never before. I was not sure if it was a normal thing or if it was because of the lunar eclipse that was to happen later in the day. We stayed there until it reduced and caught a cab back to the hospital.

At around 4 pm, the Oncologist Dr. Peter Ang walked in to our room and asked dad about his chemotherapy regimen so far. I was silently hoping and praying that he would say that dad would not require any more chemotherapy and that he was completely cured with the surgery. But as they say, if all prayers came true then there is no God. He explained to us that since dad had undergone Radio Frequency Ablation for one of his Liver Tumors, there was a "high risk" of recurrence. This meant that he would have to complete his existing cycle of chemotherapy (2 more rounds) and then would have to be assessed to find if he would require more chemos. That was not exactly the type of news I was hoping to hear on my birthday. But, looking at it on the brighter side, atleast dad is clear for now, since he also mentioned that the surgeons had removed all the cancer cells they could see and even some of the microscopic cells which could not be picked on any of the scans.

Dad will have to do followups every 2-3 months to make sure that the ugly thing did not show up its face once again in dad's system. Which is very normal for any type of cancer. Some doctors even advise preventive chemotherapy in the form of injections in out-patient wards to keep the cancer under control. I just hope that this way we can fight the battle against the monster and show him Who's his Daddy! Poor dad has been slightly depressed hearing that he would have to endure the treatment a little while longer just when he thought that all the hardship was over. We tried cheering him up saying that this was very normal and that he was perfectly alright, but he did not seem to hear any of it.

What I do not understand is that, according to statistics, Radio Frequency Ablation is successful in killing the tumors in 88% of the cases and yet the doctors feel that it is a high risk procedure. In that case, what really is the best procedure to make sure that the cancer never comes back?

Home alone at Singapore

2007-08-26T23:23:00.000+09:30

This morning dad was shifted from the ICU to the general ward. His room had a good view and overlooked some beautiful flowering trees. The room looked like a Hotel room except that it came with some medical equipments. We were told by the nurses that dad's lungs had become small (weak) due to the surgery and hence he was not breathing properly, also, the cough and plegm did not help much. We had to remind him to take deep breaths every now and then while he was awake. Since he was still sedated heavily (1 mg of morphine per hour), he was sleeping most of the time.

Today the Indian doctors (Dr. Nandakumar and Dr. Neelamegham) were leaving to Chennai by the evening flight. They said all positive things to dad before leaving. We are now on our own.

Met cousin Vishak today for the first time in 3 years. He had not changed much although he looked more mature now. He was inquiring about studies in Australia, now that he is completing his 12th grade. He stayed for a little while and returned home to study, but Uncle and Aunty stayed with us for most of the day.

We decided that mom should stay back with dad in his room just in case he needed anything in the night. So, here I am all alone at our apartment :-)

One more day at the ICU

2007-08-26T00:12:00.000+09:30

Today was dad's first day post surgery. We thought they would shift him from the ICU to the general ward, but the doctors wanted to monitor him a little longer and hence decided to keep him for another day in the ICU. We were told that dad had undergone a pretty major surgery (3 procedures in 1 go) and they had to make sure that he was completely out of danger before shifting him. He was still highly sedated so that he did not feel the pain. His face looked a lot better than yesterday although he was not able to speak very clearly due to the tubes coming out of his nose. The Physiotherapist made him sit for an hour in the morning to enable blood circulation.

Since the ICU did not have any chairs we could only stay for a few minutes each time, this worked for us since dad was awake only for a few minutes anyway. After meeting with the doctors we went to the Perumal Temple and Sri Veeramakaliamman Temple at Serangoon.

When we got back, we had a huge session on positive attitude from my Uncle and the Doctors. We were told how important it is to maintain a positive attitude at this stage of dad's recovery.
Apparently one of the patient's, a 72 year old lady with secondary cancer to her lungs and brain, survived the disease only because of her attitude to fight! Hearing such positive stories gave me some hope as well. We were giving dad a lot of positive vibes about his recovery and the support he had from all our friends. I hope it works in helping him recover quickly. He was smiling a few times today and also told the doctors that he wanted to spend some time relaxing at Adelaide. How I wish that happened sooner rather than later!

The waiting room at the Liver Unit is a nice lounge with a few couches and a TV with some satellite channels. Mom and I spent whole of today there visiting dad every hour to make sure he was fine and giving him company while he was awake. Hope tomorrow would see him in a better shape!

Dad's Cancer Journals - 3

2007-08-25T01:18:00.000+09:30

The D-Day arrived. Mom and I were preparing ourselves for the long day ahead. We went to the hospital all positive even though I was shit scared and the weather outside didn't help either, it was a wet day pouring heavily intermittently. The other thing was the 2 doctors who were supposed to come from India to overlook the surgery, were delayed by 7 hours which meant that they would only arrive after the surgery was completed, not of much use to dad. But, in spite of all these shortcomings, dad was very positive and that was contagious. The nurses started preparing him by 10 and he was made to lie on a stretcher to be taken to the Operation Theatre. Mom, Uncle and I wished him luck and his answer was - "I will be fine, you guys don't worry". I was shocked!

We waited outside the OT for almost 7 hours for some news about the surgery. Mom, Uncle, Aunty and I took turns while the other took a short break to stretch. At about 3 we found that the flight taken by the Indian Doctors - Dr. Nandakumar (Dad's family doctor) and Dr. Neelamegam (Liver Specialist at Chennai) was arriving in a short while. That was a change from the monotonous wait. Although that didn't matter much since we expected the surgery to be
nearly done. We were told by Dr. K. C. Tan's assistant that the colon surgery took 2 hours and the liver another 2. By 5 pm when the Indian doctors just arrived, we heard back from the OT and they said that Dr. Tan had completed and the other doctors were stitching dad up. We met Dr. Tan and he explained to us that even though the PET/CT scan had only shown 3 active nodules of tumor, when they opened there were in fact 4. They were able to remove 3 of these
using Wedged Resection of 3 segments and did an RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) to burn the other small tumor. He suspected that these tumors may have been necrose (meaning dead cells), but had to confirm that with a few more tests. I guess the future treatment would depend on this and the presence of any micro particle of cancer (which I hope does not exist). The wait unfortunately is still not over.

Dr. Tanvir showed us the specimen of the tumor in the colon and the 3 segments of the liver resected. It was interesting to see the villains which caused so much pain to dad. They were pretty big in size and ugly to look at. I wanted to take some snaps, but he said that they would give us snaps later. All this while dad was being dressed and prepared for the ICU. Gleneagles Hospital has a separate level for Liver patients and understandably a unique Liver ICU. It looked like a state-of-the-art room with all sorts of machines and gadgets. Soon dad would be a part of it.

We were advised that only 2 people could visit him at a time and also his immunity level would be extremely low after the surgery, hence it was better that not many people flock around him, anyway he would be sedated. So, the Indian doctors, Uncle and Aunty decided to leave for the day. Mom and I stayed back and waited till the nurses had done all the necessary procedures. When we finally went in, we saw dad in terrible pain. Poor thing was shouting "its paining, its paining". The nurse increased his Morphine dosage so that it relieves him a little bit. When we
spoke to him, he half opened his eyes and started asking how the surgery went and all the technicalities as though he was fully conscious! That amazed me again. Due to unbearable pain, he started asking how long the pain would be, we were at a loss and had to say not too long (which I really wish is true). Once dad started drifting to sleep we left the ICU. Had I stayed there any longer I am sure I would have cried :-(

We decided to go to the Perumal Temple at Serangoon to take our minds off the whole thing. Today being Varalakshmi Nombu, there was a big Puja happening there. It was good to see a ritual being performed so piously outside India.

I just hope that Dad's pain reduces tomorrow so he can be moved to a normal ward, but the bigger hope would be that he is totally free of the beast!

Dad's Cancer Journals - 2

2007-08-23T23:00:00.000+09:30

This morning we were supposed to meet Dr. Tay Khoon (what an irony, a doctor's name meaning "blood") who is a Gastro-intestinal Surgeon. He would be operating on dad's colon tomorrow. He seemed like a pretty friendly guy and explained the whole procedure to us. That was the first of many times of listening to the description of the surgery on the same day. I was nodding my head and asking questions knowing very well that in spite of understanding most of it, we would still be unprepared after the surgery for many things. He warned us that there would be a lot of tubes sticking out of dad's body after the surgery, I am sure I would break seeing him like that :-( One of the things he said sent shivers through me - He said that there is a possibility that even after opening up the patient doctors sometimes feel that the tumor is positioned badly or if they cannot surgically remove all the lesions, they might close him without doing anything. What would be the point of going through all this pain then? But then I realised that it is a Doctor's duty to keep his patient and their family well informed. And also, if I were to count the number of scares I got over the past month and a half, I would probably count the number of stars quicker!

After this we went to the Muruga Temple at Tank Road, River Valley. It was a pretty big and clean temple. From here we went to Serangoon just in time for the Main Puja at Mariamma Temple. Right opposite to it was the Hotel Saravana Bhavan, we could hardly resist the temptation of lunch there. After a quick lunch it was time to meet Dr. K.C. Tan (one of the best Liver Surgeons in whose hands seems to be dad's life for now). He was busy and hence we had to complete the formalities of getting dad admitted to the hospital. Once we were allotted the room, Dr. Tan and his assistants - 2 Indian Surgical Oncologists Dr. hitesh and Dr. Tanvir, came as part of their rounds and did the second round of explanation. I was surprised how down-to-earth Dr. Tan was, he even joked about Indians being in the IT field all over the world.

Next to visit us was Dr. Ranjut Singh - the Anesthetist. I learnt today that there was a profession called "Pain Coordinator" who takes care of patients' pain post surgery. Makes sense doesn't it? She was explaining how one should not tolerate any kind of pain unless it is mild, because while we withstand pain, we are depriving our body of many important things by making the body concentrating on the pain. According to her a sedated sleep was much better than staying awake and being in pain. After that walked in Dr. Desmond Wai, dad's Gastroentologist, to explain things for the 4th time.

After all the doctor visits, we spent some good time with dad watching a Singapore Tamil Channel on the TV and reminiscing old jokes, while dad had his dinner - the last solid food for a few days. Since the visiting hours ranged from 9 am to 9 pm, we had to leave from dad's room by 9. We let him take good rest for the big day awaiting him.

Dad's Cancer Journals - 1

2007-08-23T00:24:00.001+09:30

Arrived at Singapore this evening via Singapore Airlines. The flight was uneventful, except for meeting a funny Indian American co-passenger.

Mom and Aunt had come to the Airport and we took a cab back to the apartment which is right behind the Gleneagles hospital. Met dad after 3 months and was really happy to see him. The chemotherapy had changed him a little bit - loss of hair, dark skin in the palm and feet, weight loss etc. Sometimes it makes me wonder if all this treatment is really killing the cancer cells or the normal cells. Uncle had come home to meet us and it was a good family reunion except for not meeting cousin - Vishak and missing my dear hubby.

Dad's colonoscopy went well today and the doctors have determined where the cancer in the bowel is to be able to operate it day after tomorrow. Dad has to meet a few doctors tomorrow in the morning and has to get admitted in the afternoon for the big surgery on Friday at 1 pm. I hope everything goes well and dad comes out of the operation theatre as normal as he was before all this began!

It makes me think about the exam times when we prepare so much for the final exam and yet all depends on the results. In this case we have to trust and leave everything in the doctors' hands and hope they pass their exam with flying colours in saving a person's life!!!

Fast Fast

2007-06-05T11:18:00.000+09:30

Today I successfully completed my Lemon Detox Diet after 5 days of lemon juice and herbal syrup. My initial plan was to do it for 7 – 10 days, but somewhere in between I had to fight with my rogue mind to even prolong it as far as 5 days. I used to wonder how people did fasting for 40 days during Ramzan or other Indian festivals, now I sort of have an idea, but I don’t think I would be able to do it again in the near future.

I have realised so much about myself in the past week. I have realised how important food is for my tongue and not for my body. The bloody 2.5 inch thing demands much more than what it deserves. Sometimes I wish that I had lost my tastebuds, at least that way I could control the amount I would eat! The concept put into our heads of not eating solid food would make us weak or unhealthy is so wrong. Today is my sixth day without any solid food and I feel just as strong as and in fact healthier than ever. The diet promised glowing skin and hair, which I didn’t notice on myself maybe because there was no more to glow than the oil on my face ;-)

A week of no worries as to what groceries to buy, what to cook and how it tasted... That gave us so much time to do other stuff that it was unbelievable to even think of the amount of time we would otherwise spend on a plateful of food. And, the aftermath of cleaning up the place as though nothing had ever happened in the kitchen. Phew, so much for the tiny little tongue and the fistful of stomach.

The diet must be ended with 2 days of natural food, so today is going to be all fresh fruit juices and tomorrow raw / boiled vegetables. To a normal me, that would sound ridiculous, but after the fasting anything other than the syrup sounds heavenly to me. I have had cravings of all sorts of food in the past few days. The diet claimed that after doing it, people normally develop an aversion towards fast food and other junk, but I don’t seem to have had any such effect. In fact, I was even wondering if there would be something like a Pizza Detox Diet, I would be the first one to try that!!!

For those brave ones, who would like to cleanse their inner self and take a control over their tongue, this is the link to the path of well being - http://www.lemondetox.com/

Greek Getaway - I

2007-06-01T16:32:00.000+09:30

The journey started from Adelaide and we knew it was going to be a long, long one, in and out of aeroplanes, touching unknown lands, meeting unseen people, learning unspoken languages, yet a much looked forward to vacation. We flew from Adelaide to Melbourne (our first hop) to catch our next flight to Dubai, which was a 14 hour long one. Who ever thought you could cross half the earth in just about half a day and still be able to catch up with a few “Wannasee” movies!

We arrived in Dubai early morning their time and were surprised to see all the action in the Airport at that hour. Most people looked Indian-ish, and some had the typical Kerala faces. I was shocked at the number of people working inside a few closed rooms (marked as EXITs for some reason). I guess they were janitors waiting to clean the already shining tiles or the golden railings in case somebody dirtied them. They even spoke a language I had heard of – Malayalam. I didn’t believe when people told me about the number of Keralites in Dubai until I really saw it. The other funny thing was the local Arabs treated us Indians as though we were untouchables. Wonder what problem they have with us poor souls.

Our next flight to Athens was a short one compared to the Melbourne – Dubai one. The Athens Airport was nothing too special, in fact looked small for a city that once hosted Olympics. The air outside was cool, but the sky seemed hazy. We couldn’t see beyond a certain distance and the city being really far away, we could hardly make out anything. We took the evening flight to Santorini and hoped that we would make it in time for the much spoken about sunset. Unforutnately, since it was still Spring, the Sun decided to set a little earlier than we would have liked, yet the city looked beautiful. Our hotel faced the Aegean Sea, so we thought we could get a good sunrise even if we missed the sunset. But, it looked like the Santorini Sun had something against us. The next morning was cloudy and the Sun didn’t show up for a long while, almost made us feel sad about the great expectations we had over Santorini.

Luckily, once we finished breakfast, the clouds had cleared and we were on our way to the cruise. The first stop was at the active volcanic island of Kameni. I didn’t think the lava rocks would be very interesting to see, but the island took me by surprise. I expected a black, boring place emanating sulphur fumes, but in return got a colourful island with some shrubs and flowers alongwith the lava rocks and the sulphur fumes. The second stop was at a hot spring. I guess the time was not right, since the people that jumped into the water were shivering rather than sweating!

After that we stopped at another small island for lunch, where the only option for me was to have fries (as unhealthy it could be, since it was my only choice, I was not complaining) and Greek salad. The last stop was at Oia, the most beautiful place in Greece for me. We had to climb 250 steps to get to it, but that really paid off. The town had a character of its own and the streets narrow as they may be had colourful shops and a good view of the sea. The more we walked those streets, the more we fell in love with Santorini. But alas, our trip was really packed and did not allow us to stay a few more days in this heavenly place. We had to pack our bags and leave the next morning. That was an event by itself. We had set our alarm on the mobile to ring at 5:30 a.m. without checking the day/date. The alarm didn’t go and at 6:00 a.m. while it was still a deep sleep time, we heard bangs on our door. The driver of our Airport transfer van was waiting for us to join his gang of transfer people. Some of them were fast asleep and the ones that were awake gave us an exasperated look as though we had committed a sin never done before. We had to complete our morning chores at the Santorini Airport and that was pretty unusual for us. Later, on investigating why the alarm had not set off, we found that the mobile phone had 2 different settings for weekdays and weekends. We had set the alarm for a weekday, whereas it was a Saturday we had to be woken up on. Damn these electronic gadgets, how unreliable can they get!!! Oh well! There should be someone whom we can blame ;-)

Now, don't you feel like you need a holiday :-)

Adventure Caving

2007-01-23T13:59:00.000+10:30

We were a bunch of 8 booked to the Adventure Caving trip at the Naracoorte Caves in South Australia. All my fears and inhibitions from the previous Cave Rafting came back to me just before we reached the cave. I decided to shun them and enjoy the better company we had this time. We were befriending Frank our guide for the trip as the old man was handing us our overalls, kneepads and our helmets. We almost looked like miners except that none of us had anything to do even remotely close to mining. Just when Frank had finished telling us the rules of the cave, one of which was - everybody is to encourage the other and there shouldn’t be any negative words, came a remark that one of us looked like a baby seal in the overalls! Thus, the tour started!

The entry into the Wet Cave was through some rough steps, which didn’t quite give us the impression of what lay ahead of us. The first glimpse came in the form of a tiny, horse-shoe shaped tunnel which we all had to crawl into from one side and come out from the other. It wasn’t terribly difficult especially with one almost touching the foot of other with their head was good fun. We walked confidently thinking the novice adventure was probably beneath our capabilities. Next, came the Eye of the Needle. This was a small opening through which each of us had to squeeze our bodies just as a thread would into the needle. The hole looked tiny and wasn’t a perfect circle so it was narrow at one side and a little broad on the other. I wasn’t sure my torso would fit into it. But, when we crossed the eye one after another, it looked more and more easy and almost all of us went through. Frank waited for all of us to try the eye before narrating a funny story of how a woman’s boobs got caught and her guide had to push her at the wrong places to get her out. Thankfully none of us had that problem.

After that, we walked our way to a slightly more challenging part of the cave where we had to crawl and jump into a pit not knowing where our feet would land since the feet had to see the ground before the eyes could. I didn’t realise that some parts of the cave were loose and could follow you where ever you went. The support that I held to start my jump was one such piece that came along with me. I tried pushing it back and then realised that it was just a lump of mud and let go of it. The next challenge was only for the smaller built people and I definitely wasn’t one amongst them, so can’t really write much about it.

Our next task was to make our way through a narrow gap between 2 large boulders within the cave. Thinking about it now I am not quite sure how we did it, but I remember it being good fun trying to pull the body forward using the right hand while the right leg hopped forward, the left leg in the air and the left arm being used as back support in case the right foot didn’t land at the right spot, trying a balancing act every now and then. The twenty or so feet felt like 1 kilometre and at the end of it we were all soiled and grateful to the overalls.

Frank told us that we had done enough hard work and deserved some fun in the cave’s playgrounds. That statement got us all excited as kids. We hurried towards the play area anticipating the games that could be played in a cave. The rule of the playground was that the person ahead of the other had to take care of the person behind him/her. We started off by crawling into a narrow gap which ended in a huge cliff on the other side. We were not expected to jump the cliff and return alive, but to land over a safer ground. From there, it was walking, jumping and leaping until we returned to the spot we started from via another route. We didn’t realise that we had spent close to 2.5 hours in the cave until Frank told us that he was getting late for his next tour. What everybody did in 1.5 hours, our group did in 2.5 hours not because we were particularly slow at any point, but probably because ours must have been the most talkative and fun-loving bunch in that cave, who wanted to explore more than what the guide had in store for us. All in all a wonderful experience and a thrilling adventure recommended for people of all ages.

Home away from Home

2006-12-05T14:13:00.000+10:30

December 2004 was when I first set foot in Australia and life has changed for the better since then. Within the first 2 weeks of moving into this country I realised that I would have to spend Christmas under the moon and the stars, not for the lack of a house with a roof, but because we were going camping over the holidays. My first reaction was that of shock because I had never done that before and secondly I was still forming my first impressions of Australia and staying in the Outback didn’t quite excite me after watching all those documentaries about the most dangerous animals and reptiles that live in this country. One side of me wanted to experience the adventure (I shall call her Freak) and the other side (call her Meek) was very apprehensive about the whole idea. Freak convinced Meek knowing that there would be more people, so she had nothing to fear. That’s how we set out to shop for our camping gear. We found most of it at Big W.

When we had just paid up for all the outdoor kit, we met one of my husband’s friends who had done some hardcore camping the week before. Once he knew it was going to be my first, he narrated all the experiences he and his partner had to go through. The part that scared me the most was when he told me that I wouldn’t be able to attend to nature’s call for lack of toilets in some of the semi-deserts. That was when Meek took over and started overpowering Freak. We had committed to friends and had invested in all the necessary gear, and here I was having second thoughts about it all. I tried convincing my husband that he should take me to a big city such as Melbourne or Sydney since I was new to the country. None of my pleading worked and as much as Freak was suppressed, she had to come out.

It was a Saturday morning and we were to meet up at a friend’s house before setting out in 3 different cars. All the sightseeing and trekking we did on the first day was pretty exciting until we had to find a place to camp the night. Once again Meek came out with a “I told you so” look on her face. I had to confirm and reconfirm with hubby and the friends that the spot we would choose would definitely have toilets and bathrooms. It was as though I had not realised the importance of that part of the house until then. After considering sea shores and salt lakes for camping overnight, of course to my horror, around dusk we settled on a decent camping and powered site. The receptionist let us choose the place where we wanted to set up our tents. We chose a corner close to the boundaries of the site. We set up all our tents and began cooking dinner. I must say that was one of my best outdoor experiences of fine dining and enjoying. We set up our own bonfire and had the stereos of our cars surrounding us tuned to an Ipod. We had riotous fun that night dancing to old and new Bollywood numbers, while enjoying the moonlight and the warmth of the bonfire.

At the end of the 4-day trip, I was more than happy for Freak. Meek had disappeared without any trace and she promised not to show up again. Now, every Christmas (which is summer downunder), I wait for an opportunity to camp so that I can get away from routine and also appreciate the beauty of nature better. At the same time, it also makes me realize how grateful I should be to simple luxuries such as having a bed and a T.V., without which life almost seems to stop on a normal day!

Memoirs of Birthdays

2006-08-25T16:27:00.000+09:30

I got my birthday gift before my birthday and have even started using it. That made me reminisce my childhood memories of birthdays. Birthdays used to be a grand affair since that used to be the only special day when all children would treat you with unusual respect and the day you would definitely get a new dress, carry toffees to distribute to everybody at school and have a party at your own house and in which you get to be the chair person, without having to be bossed over by guests. You would get to open all those surprise gifts wrapped so beautifully. Wow! Birthdays were next only to Diwali. Only because Diwali brought with it more festivity and more food!

I started growing out of Birthday parties once I entered my teens and found it very embarrassing to wear a “colour dress” to school when everybody else was in their uniforms. With that stopped the distribution of sweets and party at home. I am sure my mother would have been waiting for that day. But, nevertheless birthdays were the most awaited, because you would still get gifts from parents and close friends. It also meant that you were a step closer to becoming an adult and making your own decisions. With college, the tradition changed from party at home to party at a restaurant. Mom’s worries just ended and dad’s worries had begun, having to take care of the bills. End of teens marked the end of childhood and a grand entry into adulthood.

After college, birthdays became just another day as a graduate student living a life away from home. Calls from family reminded me the beginning of a new year. The day didn’t seem as special or as eagerly awaited for as before. There were even times when I could have easily forgotten the day for it was so boring. I am wondering if it was a sign of aging or of more responsibilities. Either of them wasn’t doing me any good.

Marriage did change that to an extent, but the anxiety of growing older still bugs me. I feel like I am growing older than I was born to grow. But, when I thought further about it I realised, isn’t that the wondrous part of life, where everyday is so different from the previous day and you could never exactly predict a day even though you have been living so many of it. I realised that I needed no gift, living was a gift by itself and the surprise happened everyday. Come to think of it, isn’t everyday a birthday if birthdays meant growing older and celebrating our being on planet Earth?

Generation Trap

2006-08-18T14:06:00.000+09:30

Life is such an interesting thing, with so many chapters to it. In a project’s life cycle we come across so many phases, but when we compare that with our own life, it is not very different except that life takes after it at a very large magnitude. Thinking in those terms made me analyse the different phases in life with respect to opinions and how we change with time.

When we were kids, parents were our Gods. We listened to everything they said as though it was our duty to do so. After all we had not seen the world and they were more experienced than us, or at least that was what was imposed on us. So, we assumed that everything they said was true and they knew what they were talking about. Slowly when we went to schools and met different people, learned new things, we realised that not everything taught to us was really the truth and we began thinking for ourselves. In this process also came opinions. If we had learnt it in one way and others did it the other way, we just could not accept the change. That brings ego into the picture. Ego and comparison are topics that require separate blogs on their own.

Once we leave our parents’ homes and start living our own lives, we begin to form our own opinions and formulate our own theories of how things should be, looking at our surroundings. After this transition has happened, if someone, be it our much loved parents, comes and asks us to go against our opinions, it gets us agitated. We never pause to think that there could be something right about what they are saying. Even before thinking, the shield that we have created in our minds rejects it. It goes both ways. Even parents can not accept that their children have grown up and could be speaking right from their own experiences. I am not sure if this is ego or if it is a lesser form of the monster.

At later stages, when we have our own kids, we start behaving the same way our parents did to us, correcting our kids every now and then, imposing our thoughts on them. Agreed that it is all done in good intentions, but do we ever look back at how our childhood was? Don’t we want to groom our kids the way we want to see them as adults? Then what was wrong with our parents doing the same with us? By the time we realise these things, it is too late and our parents are probably not around us to be sympathised with.

To me, there is nothing wrong with having opinions or ego (to a certain degree), but when it comes to affecting others, is the point we should control ourselves. Just like we hate being imposed with others’ opinions, we must understand that our opinions or advice can be a bane to someone else at whatever phase of life they are. That does not mean that we should see our loved ones doing wrong things and spoiling their future, but in cases where we can help them, I think we should do it more politely so that they don’t feel overwhelmed. I just hope I can practice what I preach!

Victor Harbour

2006-08-03T16:29:00.000+09:30

We had planned a picnic to Victor Harbour last Saturday and the trip was quite eventful unlike the 2 other trips I made to the same place. We were 11 adults and a kid in all hoping for a good break from daily routine. All I knew of Victor Harbour earlier was that, it had a beautiful beach and that it was one of the most commonly visited places in South Australia next only to Kangaroo Island. This time I decided to be prepared by going through the tourism websites to know more of what to do and things to see.

The hour’s drive to Victor Harbour was beautiful, enjoying the intermittent patches of sunshine between showers. We were a bit worried if we had selected the wrong day for a picnic to the beach. But, once we reached the beach, the weather was a little more stable. The 20 minute walk on the jetty to Granite Island was again marred by a short drizzle, but was enjoyable nevertheless. Granite Island is a small island which is supposed to have rocks made of granite. The rocks there didn’t quite seem like granite, but we wouldn’t know unless they are polished. The island is very famous for the Little Penguins that are supposed to be living there, but they only come out during the dusk. We weren’t fortunate enough to catch up with the Penguins, but the Island as such was breath taking. There is a horse tram every half hour carrying people from the Island back to Victor Harbour and vice versa, but for people who can walk, that is probably the best thing.

It was a 2 hour walk around the island on a trekking path overlooking the sea. Thankfully the sun had decided to shine by then. Half way through the walk, our German friend spotted a Seal basking in the warmth of the water through his binoculars. It was a beautiful sight looking at it frolicking in the water for a while and then totally disappearing. It was interesting to note how the waves hit the rocks every now and then as though they were doing a duty very diligently. Some of the rocks were really huge and looked like they were performing a balancing act. The turquoise colour of the water was amazing and seemed very serene. Didn’t feel like taking my eyes off it.

We had found out from the Visitor’s Information Centre that this was the time for whales to come to Victor Harbour for mating. I had never seen a whale before and was even more excited on knowing that they had spotted a mother and a baby whale in a nearby beach. We decided to drive to the place called Basham’s Beach before it got dark. While driving, we noticed a beautiful rainbow forming and lo and behold there was another rainbow which looked like the reflection of the first one. It was a breath taking sight and we had to catch it in our cameras. The colours were really sharp and it made the day even more stunning.

We realised that the whale watching beach wasn’t too far and wanted to catch both the whales and the rainbows together. As soon as we reached the place, we were happy to see a huge whale pretty close to the shore. We could make out its body through the fountain of water it was breathing out. Out of nowhere we noticed another fountain happening nearby and that is when we realised that that was the child. He was a pretty active baby, splashing around the mother and moving away now and then. Made me wonder how much attachment animals share amongst themselves. There were a few dolphins playing around too. I didn’t know until then that dolphins were a kind of whales, reading the pamphlet from the Whale Centre was an eye-opener.

The sun was setting and the clouds were taking over, so we decided that it was time for a hot coffee before heading back home. We stopped at Café Primo back at Victor Harbour and spent an hour sipping coffees and discussing the day. The return drive was a silent one each reflecting on his/her own thoughts of the beautifully set day.

Satellite vs Moonlight

2006-07-25T16:30:00.000+09:30

I was never an ardent TV watcher, probably because from childhood TV meant doing something and watching simultaneously. Watching TV alone was a sheer waste of time for me. Well, nothing ever got me so engrossed that I could stare at the idiot box for hours together, cricket matches between India and Pakistan were probably the only exceptions! Understandably, we didn't think of Satellite TV for a long time. Now that we have mum-in-law here, we have had to consider her free time and longings for the unending MEGA-serials on Sun-TV and decided to get the connection. Now that we have the luxury of watching Tamil and Hindi programs being away from home, I seem to be leaning towards becoming a couch potato myself.

Earlier we used to go for walks after dinner and enjoy the moonlight and the fresh air, but now it is more like what is the next program? Oh! Is it Ramya Krishnan in "Thanga Vettai" or is it Amitabh Bachchan in "Don". Surfing channels was not a problem earlier since it was a unanimous (read as one and only) choice. Be it Deperate Housewives or House, I would just watch (partially) what was running without complaining, but now we have to satisfy the demands of 3 adults, which quite imaginably isn't the easiest. Thankfully we haven't got hooked to the MEGA-serials yet. I would really be worried of my mental condition if that ever happened to me! Wonder how people can get so obsessed with sob stories when real life is so stressful. I have heard that MEGA-serials are a hit in India because they are based around common man's problems, but imagine sitting through the same day-to-day issues that you have been facing the whole day even on television. Phew! sounds crazy to me...

I used to be surprised when people back home refused to go out during specific timings. Even if guests visited during these times, they would hardly get the attention. Only during commercial breaks would the guests and hosts see each other and the topic of dicussion is usually about what the protagonist of the mega-serial is going through and what a poor thing he/she is. I hope they realise that the hero/heroine is making a lot of money in the process and is not really a poor thing. Some people even live their life based on these serials. How much worse could it get?

It struck me funny how they have named it satellite television. Moon is a satellite of earth and used to be the center of one too many poet's description of beauty. But, now with satellite TV, we hardly get to admire the beauty of earth's only natural satellite! Looks like satellites are competing against each other for man's desire. What a pity...

Indian Soccer vs Indian Cricket

2006-07-14T12:12:00.000+09:30

It is going to be a week since the WorldCup ended and the soccer spirit lives on thanks to the mighty Italians and the Zizou controversy! It wasn't the best way for Zizou to bow out of the game, yet some things cannot be undone. The Italians continue with their 12-year cycle of entering into the finals and this time they came out triumphant. Long live the Pizza and the Pasta!!!

While watching some of these nail-biting games, I was wondering why India wasn't grooming a soccer team. It is such a fast-paced and strategic game which I am sure wouldn't have gone unnoticed by SAI (Sports Authority of India). I have also heard that there are ardent fans for the game in our good old Kolkata who take a day off from work to watch the game (just like their spirit for cricket). Then, why no Soccerrers (Soccer + Tigers) yet? I had some explanation for it -

1) Indians love unending drama - the success of all the MEGA-serials proves that we Indians probably prefer a game to go on forever (such as test cricket) rather than be short and restricted to less than 2 hours.

2) Indians believe the third Umpire - From most of the crucial cricket matches, it is evident that the third Umpire's verdict is the final and soccer not having a third Umpire probably is not convincing enough for the players.

3) Indians like breaks - Indian players prefer short breaks every now and then (such as after every over in cricket) to chat up with fellow team mates and refresh themselves. Playing continuously is not one of our virtues. Indian TV probably promotes this too, so they can make money in advertisements.

4) Injury time - If there was something like that in India, then most players would probably fake injury every other minute, to feed their belief of what cannot be done in the given time can be accomplished in the injury time!

5) Penalty Shoot-out - Imagine the situation where India and Pakistan are playing a soccer match at Kolkata and the score is 1-1 even after the extra time. It is time for penalty kicks from either side to decide the fate of the game. In this situation, both are equal (2 goals and 2 misses each) until the last kick from either side. The Pak striker has kicked a good shot and the Indian goal-keeper failed to stop the goal from happening. There would be commotion in the audience and all we can see is bottles being flinged into the ground. Before the Indian striker can take his chance, the police would have to intervene and decide the game as draw (don't think that could happen in normal soccer, but who ever said that everything that happens in India is normal?)

Kids Mania

2006-06-13T14:33:00.000+09:30

Have you ever wondered what it takes to bring up a child? I never had to so far, but now seeing close friends having babies in their arms makes me think a little more. I consider myself a kid-lover and have had a wave with most children. But, assuming that my perception while entertaining the kids has only been that they are someone else’s possession and my responsibility is only to be with them while they are happy, could be an important point of consideration for liking kids. It is so easy to just dump them in their mother’s hands when they throw a tantrum and not be bothered about their screams and cries.

The past weekend saw me meeting a variety of kids in all different ages and this is what led to the blog. One particularly interesting almost 2-year old girl was so sweet when she was in a good mood, but could turn into a little devil when she was not allowed to do what she wanted to. Her wants ranged from climbing on a dining table to take away anything that was there, munching plants from pots, opening CD cases to find her favourite CD and eating anything that elders were having. It was fascinating to see her in action the first few times especially when it was in someone else’s house. But, when she came to our house and was rummaging through all the articles, I was beginning to lose my patience. It was becoming difficult to keep her in one place for a few minutes. No wonder the parents had given up trying to keep her quiet.

At the same time, I was amazed to see a 4-year old girl who was maturing so quickly. I was intrigued by her thick Australian accent and yet the strong Indian-ism in her. She seemed really proud to be an Indian and was confident that she was going back once she grew up. She even claimed that her being in Australia was just a holiday and she was actually living in India, while the reality was that she went to India for a holiday and had fallen in love with the place. Made me wonder what was going on in that little head of hers. Her knowledge of cars and passion towards her favourite colour – pink, amused me. She wanted her father to drive a pink car!

Then there was this 1-month old baby boy. If you thought babies this young could only eat and sleep, think again. He had his own attitude too. His mom’s attempt to put him to sleep alone in a room went futile all the time. He wanted constant chatter and somebody’s lap to enter deep slumber, what an odd necessity. It was also interesting to notice the strange faces he was making and made me think what was really going on. That is when somebody remarked that it is a general belief that God speaks to babies and makes them run errands for Him; which is why they smile sometimes, seem tired at other times and make strange expressions. We would never know if that was true, unless babies could speak and tell us what they are going through. Can science do that, trap the thoughts and translate them?

I have never really thought about having my own kids, but now it has brought me one step closer to reality. It is no more all play, but behind the scenes action of parents and the way they bring up the kid matters a real lot. I have learnt that although many things are inherited from the genes, how important it is to condition them externally.

Test Detest

2006-06-08T17:16:00.000+09:30

The number of tests in life is endless. One of the most important amongst them for me was my driving test. I had learnt driving formally while I was really young but that was Indian driving where anything and everything was possible on the road. I was taught to hold the clutch all the time and use the brake more often than I used the accelerator for who knew when a cyclist would be under my tyre. The cars that I was used to driving were the little Maruthi baby cars. Even though I had been chauffeured in bigger cars, I never once thought how they should be manoeuvred. My speed had never exceeded a meagre 50 kilometres per hour. With all this restriction I managed to get my Indian driving license without much ado, probably because I was not asked to drive a car during the test. Imagine the drivers in a country which gives licenses to people without testing their driving abilities; no wonder chaos is the other name for Indian roads.

But, little did I realise when I got my Australian visa that my driving skills would take me nowhere in a place other than India. Once I landed in Australia and had admired our new car, the excitement took over me and I wanted to put my skills to use. I can very clearly remember the day I first started our car and drove a little distance and the expression on my husband’s face. He didn’t have to ask me but his face spoke it all – “Who the hell taught you driving?” But, I refused to give up and kept driving with all my will. I knew it was futile to go on like that and hence after 15 minutes I conceded defeat and requested to be taught driving all over again.

After this came the written test for the Learner’s license which was a breeze. I kept terrorizing the Adelaide roads for about 6 months after which I decided I should take a real test of my newly acquired skills. From their experience all my friends advised me to take the help of a driving instructor before taking the test. I took the advice and booked an instructor. On the first day of my driving lessons, the instructor asked me to drive a distance so that he could assess me. At the end of the assessment, the instructor had the same look on his face as my husband. I felt a sense of déjà vu on seeing his expression. He said he would need about 3 classes to teach me lawful driving.

On the day of my driving test, my instructor decided to have a mock test to see if I was capable of passing the test in the first go. I am not sure if it was nervousness or overconfidence that made me drive at a speed of 70 in a 50 zone, enter into the round-about without seeing left or right and stand on the wrong side of the road blocking on-coming traffic. Sure enough my instructor wasn’t happy and had decided my fate. When the final test time arrived, I was shaking knowing what was going to happen. Fortunately for me the test officer was a cheerful person and tried to relax me for almost 10 minutes into the test and the rest of it went by him telling me what to do and assessing me at the same time. Once he asked me to park, I realised that I was actually in a test for the past 30 minutes and the nervousness came back to me. The officer went through his notes to decide what he should do with me while I was biting my nails and waiting for his verdict. My instructor and he were speaking in a foreign language which led me to think that I was doomed. But, my relief knew no bounds once he declared that I had just passed the test. For once in my life I could drive with more confidence than ever. Hopefully no more funny looks from people once I take over the wheels!

Gold Coast - Part 4

2006-06-05T13:13:00.000+09:30

Come Sunday morning and we were ready by 9 a.m. anxious to drive to Brisbane. It took us about an hour to get to our friend and guide’s house. From there we went to Mt. Coot-tha, which was similar to Mt. Lofty in Adelaide. It gave us a panoramic view of the city. Close by was a botanic garden which had different types of tropical plants. The next stop was at South Banks, which was in the heart of the city. We were excited about seeing the man-made beach. The beach was a small one, but a marvellous creation for kids. They could enjoy the beach even without having to go there. We decided to have some Mediterranean food at Kapsali before walking into the city.

The lunch turned out to be a really long one that went on for 3 hours, mostly talking and enjoying the company. After that we walked along River Brisbane to the city to the Queen Street Mall. We purchased some souvenirs and had some Danish gelati before trying the City Cat. The City Cat ride was a breath taking one. It made us fall in love with the Brisbane city. We had a sumptuous dinner cooked by our friend’s mother. It was a lethargic drive back to Gold Coast, not quite prepared for the last day of holidays.

The guys had arranged for a kayaking and snorkelling trip for Monday morning. We were to be picked up at our Apartment at 7:00 a.m. We were all set and packed by 6:45. We left our luggage in our car and waited for the van to pick us up for the all new adventure. The drive to the beach where our kayaking journey was to begin was about 15 minutes. The water there was much more calm compared to the beach in Gold Coast. We were 11 of us including our coach on 6 kayaks ready to row. It seemed a bit scary to explore deep waters not knowing an escape route in case of disaster. But, with time and company, kayaking became enjoyable and the water less intimidating.

We stopped at an island where our coach set out a breakfast that was incredible for wilderness. We had muffins, fruits and cereals just like a normal day. After this, we got our snorkelling kits and lessons on how to look for fishes. It was delightful to look at fishes in various colours and patterns, and amazing to see that nature had so much to offer. We were floating in the water for about an hour trying to catch sight of as many fishes as we could. After that, we set out kayaking to another island. This was the 4th largest sand island in the world and was called the Stradbroke Island. We walked along this island to the beach, only to find the huge waves that would tempt any surfer. Our guide was telling us how during a day there were 150 surfers in this place.

It was now time to head back to where we had started from. The trip lasted a little less than 5 hours, and was a truly amazing one. We got dropped at our apartment where we used the sauna, spa and shower to refresh ourselves. By the time we had freshened up, we were famished and were again on the lookout for a good restaurant. We decided that all our taste buds longed for pizza, and thought La Porchetta was the best place to go for good food and value for money. The pizza was indeed yummy and kept our ever-hungry stomachs quiet until we got back to Adelaide.

We were strolling through the busy mall doing some window shopping and enjoying the last day of good weather until it was time to drive back to the Airport at Coolangatta. After checking in our luggage, we were reminiscing the good time we had and all the different things we had done in the past 4 days. The journey back to Adelaide was a relaxed one, trying to recuperate for the next day’s work and routine. On the whole, the trip was a thoroughly enjoyed one where the focus was on fun and adventure. The company was good and made the journey even better.

Gold Coast - Part 3

2006-06-05T13:08:00.000+09:30

Saturday was a lethargic day. We decided to spend the whole day in the beach, in the waves that we never get to see in Adelaide. We first went shopping for some swim clothes to protect us from the sun and then entered the beach with a million other people. Looked like the whole of Brisbane was in Gold Coast! The water was rough and required the presence of lifeguards. We went under and over the waves, played some beach volleyball and got thrown out a few times, all to our excitement. By this time we were getting hungry and hence decided to walk back to our apartment to have a quick lunch. The guys made wonderful sandwiches while the women were taking a shower and then it was the women’s turn to setup the table and clean it later. The lunch was very relaxed and was one of the best moments of the holiday. After a bit of a siesta, we got ready to go back into the beach. The waves were even rougher in the evening and the safe area to be in the water was becoming smaller and smaller. That did not dampen our spirit and we continued jumping in and out of the waves. The life guards sent out a warning that they were leaving at about 5 in the evening and that is when we realised that most people had left the water. We got out and went to our apartment’s sauna, swimming pool and spa. We did a tour of these 3 places in that order about 3 times and then decided that it was time to have a shower and choose a place for dinner.

The cuisine chosen for Saturday night was Lebanese Kebab. We had wraps and strolled around to check out the night life. The place was pretty crowded and the parties were on. We wanted to have an early night since we had to drive to Brisbane the next day, so we came back to our apartment, chatted for a while and then hit the bed.

Gold Coast - Part 2

2006-06-05T11:55:00.000+09:30

We got up at 6:30 in the morning (early for a holiday) and decided to go for a jog. The jog didn’t last for too long for some of us, although the inviting waves kept us busy for the next one hour. After this, we got ready like diligent children to go to Movie World – one of the 4 theme parks at Gold Coast. This park is at a 25 minute drive from Gold Coast. We were at the entrance at 10:00, just when the gates opened. The first ride that caught our eyes was the great Superman Roller Coaster. Even before going in, we were all excited about it. We decided to take in the rides nice and easy, so we started with a sober Batman Ride II, which was a simulation tackling all the enemies and helping Batman in Gotham City. By now, the guys were getting anxious about the Superman ride and so we decided to go for it. The ride was breath-taking by all meanings. It lasted for just 30 seconds, but those 30 seconds were the time when we felt we were being tossed up and down and travelling against gravity. The thrust of 0 – 100 kilometres per hour in 2 seconds sent all sorts of insects in the stomach, not just butterflies!

Once it was over, we had a huge sigh of relief. But, that was not it, there was more to come. Strolling through the lanes of Movie World, we noticed that there was a huge line gathering in front of a theatre. We realised that this was for the Shrek 4D Adventure and decided to try it. The show was good telling us how Shrek and the donkey rescued Princess Fiona from the ghost of Lord Farquaad. The 4 dimensional approach worked really well with both the adults and the kids.

After the show, we decided that it was time for more adventure and wanted to try the Lethal Weapon ride. The sight of it seemed scary, looking at people going upside down gave us all sorts of imaginations. But, the daring group that we were, we decided to take up the challenge. It was certainly longer than the Superman ride and hence the adrenaline flow lasted more than we expected, although it wasn’t as scary. Slowly we were getting used to the different rides and felt like we waned more. We stopped at a street performance of Scooby Doo and then ventured into something called the Looney Tunes Spooky Roller Coaster. All of us thought that it was going to be a kid’s roller coaster and that is how it started. We were at ease until our car went up in an elevator of sorts and suddenly from nowhere we were being pushed down on our back and rose up at the same speed, going zig-zag with a beam of light pointed at us. It ended up being a real hit especially when it was so unexpected.

By now we were starving and were searching for a good place for lunch. There was this Nachos place where we had some vegetarian Nachos before continuing on with our adventure ride. We went to the Looney Tunes village and had a look at the different rides they had for children. It was amazing to see what a world they had created. It was then time to go for the Police Academy Stunt Show. It was held in an open air auditorium where people were requested to assemble half hour before the show. The guy taking care of the seating arrangement was hilarious. Without uttering a word, he was able to keep his audience enthralled. The show itself was superb and it was shocking to see the type of stunts the guys performed right in front of our eyes. The helicopter burning scene was once of the most spectacular.

After this show, we needed more adrenaline rush and hence decided to try out the Wild West Falls Adventure. This was another roller coaster, but with a change. It was all in water and the ride was really smooth making us wonder if it was actually a roller coaster, until the great drop into the water. It was a nice end to the truly enjoyable Movie rides.

After coming back to our apartment, the women voted to check out the Friday Market and the men voted to try out the spa and sauna in the building. After our respective activities, we were searching for a good Thai restaurant for dinner. We couldn’t find one and hence decided to go for an Indian cuisine that night. The restaurant was called the House of India. We had 4 banquets and shared it among the 5 of us. The food was tasty and the ambience was good. That night was a long one, when we went home and played Uno – the card game – until 2 a.m.

Gold Coast - Part 1

2006-06-05T11:53:00.000+09:30

It was a pleasant Thursday afternoon in Adelaide and the 5 of us were eagerly awaiting the time we would be boarding the flight that would take us to Gold Coast – the Land of Beaches! The Jetstar flight was scheduled to depart Adelaide at 1445 hours. We were at the Airport 1 hour ahead and had to wait in a long queue to check in our luggage. That was probably one of the busiest days for the Airport, when people were travelling to meet their near and dear ones for the Easter weekend.

Once we boarded the flight, we switched ourselves to the “holiday” mode and were totally excited about the place we would be visiting. The journey lasted about 2.5 hours and went on smooth. The Coolangatta Airport was a small one focused mainly for tourists who didn’t have to drive down from the bigger Brisbane Airport. The luggage came on time and the guys were excited about the upgraded Holden Commodore offered by Avis. As soon as we came out of the Airport, there was a feeling of inexplicable joy and expectations of the place we had all so much heard about. The first instinct was that the air felt humid and warm, just like our home town. Maybe that added to our happiness.

It was a half hour drive from the Airport to Surfer’s Paradise, the place where we had booked our Apartment. The route had suburbs named after Florida’s famous beach locations such as Miami, Palm Beach, Mermaid Beach etc. Our Apartment – imperial Surf was located on Esplanade at Surfer’s Paradise, facing the wild Pacific Ocean. We were to live on the 11th floor for the next 4 days with an excellent view of the beach and a comfortable living area. After admiring the beauty of the apartment, we set out to get grocery to support us for the forthcoming days and dinner for the night. It was a unanimous vote for Pizza and we decided to go to La Porchetta, and ordered 2 large pizzas for 5 hungry people. One was a normal vegetarian one and the other a gourmet pizza. They were really yummy and satisfied our hunger for the night.

We decided that now was a good time to walk along the shores of the beach. The weather was pleasant and the winds calm. It was a beautiful walk after which we decided to go back to our apartment for an early night. A day of adventure and action lay ahead of us.

Cave Rafting

2005-08-18T15:04:00.000+09:30

Our third day at New Zealand saw us at Greymouth, registering for Dragon's Cave Adventure or Black Water Rafting. I was initially shocked by the fees which was $135 per person, but since it was something very new and unheard of in most countries, we decided to try it out inspite of the cost. We were to report at the Dragon's Office by 8:00 am. We reported alright unable to visualise what the next 5 hours held in store for us. Our guide, Pete introduced us to the rest of the team that was going with us. The team consisted of 2 Indians (us), 2 Brits, 3 Aussies and 1 Scott. It was a Honeymoon special for the British couple, which made it more interesting for us!

We were given all our gears and wearing the thermals, jumpsuit etc made me feel like I was going on some major mining project. The first step to check if we were physically fit to undertake the adventure was to climb onto the age-old truck without any help, which all of us accomplished with some difficulty considering we were carrying about 5 kilos over our weight in terms of gear. We were escorted from the city office to a place deep rooted in the forests, outskirts of Greymouth. We were totally cut out from civilization. The initial stage consisted of walking through a dense rain forest with numerous water holes and loose mud. It was amazing how these people had built a walking trail on such terrain where it was difficult to even stand steadily.

After about 30 minutes of walking, we came to the entrance of the cave where we would be spending the rest 3 hours. There was a nice stream of water running into the cave and there were a number of potholes. At this point, our guide announced that he had a surprise for the honeymooners! He brought out a veil and a bow for the bride and the groom respectively and asked them to wear it. They had some romantic pictures taken and the groom had to also remove the band from the bride's thigh. A typical Christian wedding in a cave. Wonder if anybody has attempted a real wedding in the cave, considering people have been adventurous enough to tie the knot while Bungee jumping!!!

After this we were allowed to wear our helmets with the miner's lamp fitted to it. The darkness of the cave ahead gave us all the creeps. Once inside we were given a choice of 2 entries - an easy way and a really, really tough way. As usual I took the easy path and thanked my stars for choosing it after hearing the ordeals faced by the people who took the tougher path. The easier path consisted of walking on water, where you didn't know the depth until you put your leg into it. The depth varied from knee-length to almost 6 feet. If this was not scary enough, the tougher passage had a tunnel carved out in rocks filled with darkness, where you had to crawl to move ahead. The size of the tunnel was too small, and a claustrophobic person could be intimidated by just looking at it. I believe there were puddles of water here and there and people had to put their head or hands into it to move ahead. Now you know why I was thanking my stars for choosing the easier path!

Once well inside the cave, we were advised to have atleast 3 points of contact with the rock, which meant that at any given time either 3 of our limbs had to be in constant contact with the rocks lest we fell and broke our bones. After this came a swimming test. There was this long pit filled with water, which had to be crossed by swimming across it or doggypacking. Since I am no swimmer, I did the doggybacking (which was almost walking) and was the last. After crossing that hurdle we came to a place where we had to jump into a deep hole gushing with water from a rock well above. We were supposed to swim to an extent and get out of the hole. I still do not know what the depth of that pit was or how I agreed to jump into it. All I remember was after I jumped, I drowned for a bit, drank some fresh water through my nose and mouth and threw my hands up in panic. Luckily the guide saw me and brought me back to life. The rest of the team began cheering for me commending me for the bold step. Only I know how bold it was!!!

After the jumping adventure, we were given some tyre sort of thing to float on water. We had to sit on it and row using our limbs and move forward. Our guide announced that all lights be turned off for the next 20 minutes. If the water was not scary enough, the darkness brought me all sorts of frightening visions. As soon as we turned off all our head lamps, we could see glow worms in the ceiling of the cave. They were glowing like those stickers we used as kids and were a wonderful sight. I was having difficulties navigating my float-boat and needed some pushing every now and then, but I was fine after awhile. At the end of it, we came to a nice big rock which was the end point of our entry into the cave. This was the safest point until which people could come by, going beyond it was dangerous even to the professionals. Here our guide brought out some much needed hot chocolate and a chocolate bar to quench a wee bit of our hunger and thirst after the intense activity.

If you thought the journey back to the beginning was easy, you are mistaken as was I. There was a completely different path and this was called the "Lover's Tunnel" and in no way was it any close to being romantic. It was a tiny tunnel through which at any time only one part of our body would enter. We had to slowly crawl through it and climb at some places and put our hands or faces into water puddles. I had never been more thankful to our modern living than when I was here. The journey almost made me feel that I would be trapped inside and would never see light again. With my husband's encouraging words and pushing, I managed to complete the path and once out I felt a lot better. After that, the path was relatively easy and we were soon out of the cave. All of us breathed a sigh of relief, only then did I realise that I was not the only one that was terrified about the whole thing!

We set out back on the trail through the rain forest and came to a stream which was meant to be a water slide. All the team members, except the guide and I, undertook the challenge of the waterslide and slid over it. I had a severe backache and hence refused to go for it. It was good to see the adrenaline rush in the others. After this, we walked back to our truck and set back to the city center. We were soaked in water and were freezing head to toe, yet the body felt hot because of the heart thumping with excitement. Once we reached the office, there was a hot spa awaiting us. All of us jumped into the spa and were offered drinks and muffins. I am not sure if it was the hunger or the relief from coming back in one piece that made the hot chocolate and the muffin taste heavenly.

This was an experience totally new to me and thoroughly enjoyable now that I think of it. The company was even better and made the memory cherishable...

You can find more about this over here Dragon's Cave Rafting

The Land of New Zeals - 1

2005-08-11T15:49:00.000+09:30

Last week was truly exciting thanks to our much awaited trip to New Zealand. The place was like a mini visit to paradise where there is not only serenity and peace but also adventure and adrenaline pumping activities to do. We went to the most beautiful part of the country which was South Island. The North Island is pretty in its own way, but people (my hubby being one of them) who have seen both claim that South Island is where the natural beauty exists, whereas North Island is more of industries and volcanoes.

We began our trip from Adelaide at 5:30 in the morning, when we got dropped at the Airport. We were to fly to Melbourne in a Qantas flight and then catch an Air New Zealand flight to Christchurch. The timing was perfect and the weather could not have been better. We had a pleasant journey all the way, and although we forgot to order Veggie meals for the die-hard vegetarian in me, the air crew was nice enough to provide me with one. God bless them, or else I would have entered New Zealand starving!

We got to watch the movie "Pacifier" starring Vin Diesel in a comic role, in the flight. I am not sure why Diesel agreed to do that role. After seeing him in the first XXX I was very disappointed by the Pacifier. Anyway, all that disappointment vanished once we were flying over Fiordland (another name for New Zealand because it has lots of Fiords, I'll get to that later). Thanks to clear skies, we could see the snow-capped mountains clearly and what a sight it was!!! My words cannot express the beauty as much as it truly is partly because I was unable to digest the complete picture, for it was totally out of my imagination. I was ecstatic and was very much looking forward to the following 8 days in such a beautiful place.

The flight landed at the Christchurch Airport at 3:30 pm, and luckily we didn't have any problems with the luggage. We were picked up by a shuttle that took us to the Apollo Campervan Agency. Our bold campervan was waiting for us outside the office to be explored and to drive us all over the Island. I have never been in one before and hence was amazed by what all could be fitten into a van sortof vehicle. It had a shower cum toilet, a wardrobe, a microwave oven, a fridge, a 3-burner stove, a grill and a sink, resembling a mini kitchen. Apart from these things, there was also a dining table and 2 couches that could transform into a double bed, and also some cupboards for keeping the quilt and the pillows. If you are wondering how they could fit in all this into such a small vehicle, here is the picture to show you how -

This is how they accomodated it all

Courtesy Apollo Motorhome website.

After admiring our home for the next 8 days, we went to a nearby supermarket to purchase grocery and vegetables that would feed us through our holiday. After that we drove to a place called Hanmer Springs, which was about 100 kms north of Christchurch. This place is known for its natural thermal reserves. While it is freezing outside, the natural spas in Hanmer Springs generate water at a temperature of 30 degrees celsius and above. There were about 10 such pools and a private pool and a private spa. There was also a pool for the kids to play. It was a much needed relaxation after the journey of the day. After enjoying the warm water, we parked our campervan at a powersite and had self-made tacos for the night. Yummy!

The next day we decided to drive to Greymouth which is on the west coast. We heard about a place called Punakaiki close to Greymouth famous for rocks in the shape of layered pancakes and blowholes. It was hard for me to imagine what this actually meant until I saw it with my own eyes. Nature had taken 35 million years to erode the sea side rocks to form something of that shape. It really resembled pancakes that could be a demon's feast! Not only that, there were these sea weeds in the sea down below which looked to me like a demon's hair. The blowholes apparently are formed by the sea hitting the rocks with such fierce force that the rocks have to give way.

That afternoon we had lunch at a nice cafe at Greymouth called the "Cafe 124 @ McKees". We ordered a Moroccan platter, which had some falafels, bread, various dips, fetta cheese and Kalamata Olives. My mouth still waters when I think of that platter. That night we cooked some South Indian Sambar, rice and Carrot curry for dinner and had it in the Campervan. For a few moments it felt like we were transported back to our homeland :-)

That was the end of Day 2 of our great New Zealand trip!

...Contd

Is someone really out there?

2005-07-08T17:09:00.000+09:30

I watched Steven Spielberg's "War of the Worlds" this week and ever since have been wondering about ETs that have been the subjects of so many Hollywood blockbusters and bestselling novels. This has truly been an ET week for me because I managed to finish reading Dan Brown's "Deception Point" which also talks about the possibilities of extra-terrestrial life. So, are there really little green men out there or is just our imagination?

Conspiracy theory has it that all the UFO sightings and unusual happenings, are some form of military testing, and accidentally when any ordinary person sees it, they are made to believe that our planet is being visited by neighbours from different solar systems. The spacecraft with colorful lightings and unusual design does seem out of this world to any common man. But, little do we suspect that they are made right here and would be part of our lives some where down the lane, because as Dan Brown says "the technology used by US military is 12 years ahead of what we see commercially".

But, knowing that there are gzillion galaxies and each containing gzillion stars, there definitely seems a possibility that there could be some form of life somewhere other than Earth. Considering that such creatures do exist, my imagination runs wild as to how would they look. Would they be like the friendly ET in the movie "ET" or the hostile Tripods in "War of the Worlds" or a thousand other forms created by different Directors or would they resemble us considering the fact that one of the planets in one of the galaxies has atmospheric conditions precisely as our planet. Afterall, Mother Earth has about 5 million known species and God knows how many unknown ones, there could be one being out there who looks like one of these 5 million species. It could also be possible that they do not have our senses, but probably have some other forms of perception which we are unaware of.

Movies have always shown that these beings are more advanced than us with superior spacecrafts, communication systems and intelligence. But, what if they are not as smart as us and that is why they haven't been able to contact us? Our astrophycists are atleast trying to send out messages to other distant planets, but is someone able to receive it and if so what are they doing about it? What if they do not have means of listening or understanding the messages we are sending them, as in they do not have sophisticated receivers or transmitters.

Makes me wonder what would happen if one of the NASA scientists searching for different life forms in the universe, lands in a planet and is confronted by beings similar to our ants or reptiles, while the planet is still evolving. That would be an ultimate waste of tax-payers money. Or, maybe not a total waste, because we did find that we have neighbours in this vast universe. What after that? Do we constantly live in the fear that since there is one planet with living things, there could be numerous others, and one day when those things learn about Earth and us, we can have Star Wars? Phew! What doesn't Hollywood do to a person...

I Forget to Remember

2005-06-24T16:55:00.000+09:30

I watched the movie Memento yesterday and apart from being intrigued by the movie, I learnt a very important thing - how valuable our memory is to us. The movie was excellent and made me think for quite a while. Imagine living your life in reverse, I would go crazy with such a thing. That's when I began to appreciate how much better my life is the way it is rather than knowing the end before the beginning. Then why would I go to an astrologer when I know life is more exciting because I do not know my future? I drifted away from the topic because of my contempt and disbelief towards astrologers...

There are so many incidents that we wish to forget so that it doesn't keep haunting us. I wish I could forget my grades at school, I wish I could forget my first crush, I wish I could forget the first time my teacher punished me, the list goes on and on. I want to forget bad things forever. But, only now do I realise how dangerous it could be to live without a memory that lasts just about a few days/hours. This condition is medically termed Anterograde Amnesia. Having to live with photos and notes all my life that would tell me (not remind) what I am supposed to be doing, is very scary. I can't imagine the number of people that could take me for a ride by manipulating the photos and the notes.

There are times when we had to do something, but we completely forgot about it. It is irritating when we can't rely on our memory and we have to write down the things we have to do (remember the "TO DO" list?). But, imagine having to wake up every morning not knowing who you are or where you are and what you are supposed to be doing. The movie Memento brought this perspective on a serious note and the movie 50 First Dates brought the same on a lighter note. I think these movies remind (again on memory?!?) us normal mortals how blessed we are compared to people who have short term-memory losses. I was shocked when I saw that guy in 50 First Dates whose memory lasts just 2 minutes and introduces himself after every 2 minutes.

A dialogue in Memento that caught my attention was - "I can't remember to forget my dead wife". What an irony in life to want to forget his own wife when he is forgetting every other thing without an effort. Gets me thinking if I ever want to forget certain things while I want to remember certain others...

In the name of the Guru

2005-06-20T18:20:00.000+09:30

Past weekend I got the lovely opportunity to visit a Gurudwara with our friends. It was the first time for me and definitely an eye-opener. All I knew about the Sikhs as a community was that they were strong-willed and bodily strong, and hence entered the defence so easily, apart from of course the Kushwant Singh Sardarji jokes. This trip to the holy shrine of the Sikhs brought me closer to their culture and gave me new perspectives. Being from the south, Punjab to me was really a state of high yield fields, the Golden Temple and some chaos thanks to our beloved neighbours - Pakistan.

The Gurudwara we visited is located at Berri - again a land of farms in South Australia. They supply citrus juices to the whole world. The drive as such was a long one lasting about 3 hours, but seemed short because of good company. We reached the Gurudwara around 11 am and were greeted by friends. The hospitality these people exhibit goes unmatched by many other communities. We were invited to have breakfast at the pantry. The breakfast was all prepared by volunteers, and I was surprised by the enthusiasm with which the women cook for so many people. The number of items and the taste of each, expressed the love with which it must have been prepared.

After having snacks, we entered the prayer hall. The hall was so inviting with the bright colored fabrics and beautiful flowers. It did look like the Guru was right there amongst his devotees when the prayers were being offered. There were around 150 people in all and yet the hall was so peaceful. The Bhajans (Paat) were so soft and soothing to the ears. It was a little different from the usual Poojas I have attended in the Hindu temples. The prayer went on for about 2 hours and after that my friend (who is a Sikh) explained to me about the 10 Gurus and the sufferings inflicted on the Sikhs by the Muslims. I was shocked by the torture they had to go through to stick to their beliefs, and the best part was inspite of all the torture, not one Sikh got converted to Islam. Now I understand from where they get their strong-will.

After this we were asked to have langarh, which is similar to prasad but is a full meal. We found ourselves again in the pantry with lot of goodies. Again, I was surprised by the number of rotis the women must have made and the quantity of chole etc. The people are very friendly and are ready to become friends with just about anybody. Not surprisingly, most of these people do farming and have lived in this place for almost 2 generations. They have created a good niche for themselves in cultivating citrus fruits, grapes for wine and a few other varieties. Looks like they are really successful at it from the cars they drive and the homes they live.

It was a very good experience for me and hope to return again someday soon.

Life and beyond...

2005-06-19T14:09:00.000+09:30

Today I got news that one of my father's closest friends passed away suddenly. I too got close to him during the past few years. I had never seen a person like him. He was close to 80 and yet always bubbling with energy. His enthusiasm sometimes surprised me because I being quarter his age didn't even have quarter of his energy. His encouraging words are still ringing in my ears. His pleasant face with a constant smile keeps coming in front of my eyes. I am still not able to digest the fact that he is not amongst us now.

I never gave much thought to what would happen to someone so close to us once they left this world. But, this incident makes me think more into life and death. I have heard theories which say that when someone dies they are reborn into this world in the form of another body. How much this is true is unverifiable, except of course for incidents where people can remember their previous lives. I have not seen one such case, so haven't been able to believe it completely.

Some theories say that God sent us into this world with a purpose and until we are able to achieve that goal, we keep entering into this world. I am not sure how far this is true either, because even if a majority of us are not able to find our goals in a few lifetimes, there should be atleast a handful who can and would not have to be reborn. But, the population explosion on our planet disproves this theory. Apart from that, what goals could God really want his children to achieve which he can not accomplish himself?

Some people believe that when their loved ones die, its just their body that is being taken away and the soul always remains around whom they loved during their lifetime. Although this can not be proved, it seems the most comforting explanation for those who are shattered by the death of a close one. Maybe they become our guardian angels and protect us all the time. I wish that uncle is also always with me, I know his blessings are even if he isn't.

Birds of same Feather Flock Together

2005-06-06T17:23:00.000+09:30

I always thought that if I had not entered the engineering field I would have been in the field of human psychology, knowing how interested I am in observing people's behavior. I have been lucky enough to visit a few countries around the globe and notice the behaviors of people of different origins. Basic human psychology made me find the similarities between all these people and astonishingly there are many traits that are common to one and all. Even though we belong to completely different races (I am not a racist!), different backgrounds, different geological locations etc, I guess there are a few things which are human(e) and nothing can really change these traits.

I used to think that it was just Indian mentality to search for fellow Indians as soon as he enters foreign land. But, I noticed in many gatherings that people belonging to the same nationality flock together and have a tendency of forming individual groups. These groups usually do not allow many foreigners (people whose motherland they are occupying) to enter unless they are married or are really really close to one of the group members. This is just a rare occurrence.

I have found that these groups sometimes get divided into sub-groups with members who consider themselves next to kin and want to always hang out together. The similarities occur by consequence of either the husbands or the wives working together or if not either of the 2 then the kids going to the same school. It is interesting to also note that once these members come together (by way of one of the above stated reasons) the rest of the consequences happen as though they were meant to be, and intensifies the closeness of the relationship further.

Some of the things that these groups commonly indulge in:
1) Weekly Friday night get-togethers at one member's place with the rotation happening every week. These get-togethers are meant to be stress-relievers for the breadwinners in terms of catching up with their close ones (away from home) and having a complete night-out. The men get their favorite wine and the women are able to display their culinary skills by trying out different dishes and getting appreciative words from co-members.
2) Sometimes the Friday night get-togethers extend to Saturday night if all the members find themselves free and are ready to play a game and have gourmet dinner prepared by the excellent chefs at home. The menu usually changes to different international cuisines each week to have a variety on everybody's platter. If not a game then maybe a Blockbuster movie that requires unanimous votes from all the group members (otherwise the person who chose the movie might get beaten up).
3) During the week, the men and the women get to meet each other at work if they are in the same company. The women exchange recipes they found really interesting over the phone and the kids get to play with each other once in a while. There are email forwards to show that each person has not forgotten the other.
4) If there is a long weekend coming up in a particular month, there are huge plans made in advance, only to find that when the long weekend does come, the members' routine doesn't change one bit. Even if it did, there would probably be short trips to "beautiful" locations, in which case each family would carry their part of the lunch with them and once the location is reached, a nice spot is chosen for the food to be laid and attacked upon. After that a few games are played and the luggage is packed to drive back home.
5) Birthdays are another common meeting occasions. Most times the victims (person whose birthday it is) are given a surprise by other members and have to act as if it was the best thing that could have ever happened to him/her. How many times can you surprise a person with the same reason!
6) Ethnic festivals, even if not celebrated back home, are celebrated with grandeur. It is an occasion for each member to boast about how they used to enjoy the same festivals with their parents while they were kids (Come on! Grow up people!). The new generation kids are given a historical explanation of what is supposed to be done so that the tradition carries on.
7) If any one of the families is going back to visit his homeland, then it is party time for the rest of the group. They can get all that they wanted from their real relatives back home and this person is obliged to get it all (isn't that part of the closeness they have shared). Besides the individual items, there are sweets and savories that he must get for each of the other members.
8) The group grows by spreading their wings farther. New members having similar backgrounds are added once in a while and are introduced to the basic rules. These new members are made comfortable pretty soon by the veterans and it is made sure that they enjoy the gatherings, so that there is no shortcomings.

Having said all that, I must say that these micro-groups are much better than relatives. They share a relationship that is beyond give and take and also doesn't involve much expectations. Even if one member is ill or is any trouble, everybody else is there to help. That is the basis that these groups really carry on. The help and the understanding is mutual. They are all-weather friends unlike some relatives who are just fair-weather friends.

What to write?

2005-05-31T16:46:00.000+09:30

Sometimes I feel like writing something, but keep thinking for a long time as to what to write, and end up not writing anything. So, this time I decided I must write about what to write, instead of just pondering and wasting time!

Now that I have started writing, I feel like the words seem to flow. I want to write about so many things, yet don't know how to put the random thoughts to meaningful words. There are so many things we come across in the time frame of a single day, and each interesting thing makes me feel I should write about it, but when I have a paper and pen that topic completely evaporates from my mind. What am I supposed to do? I wish I had a PDA to note down the topics when they crossed my mind so that I wouldn't have to rely on my RAM memory sitting in my head processing so many instructions per second that it forgets important stuff. Maybe I should write about memory and absent minded professors or PDA's and computers. But, my knowledge of both human psychology and computers is not so good that I could come up with a good write-up about either of the two fields.

I should probably write about what happened today. But, there wasn't one particular incident that I could write about for more than half a paragraph. Besides, that would be like writing my diary instead of a blog, and who wants to know that I ate a slice of pizza this evening which had such delicious toppings or that I ran to the gym immediately after to shed that extra weight.

When I see other blog sites I feel so jealous that I am not such a professional writer. I am not sure how people get topics so easily and they can write just about anything and still sound sane. Here is a poor little girl who can't even think of what she wants to write, forget about writing it right.

Well, inspite of talking so much about what to write I am still thinking what I should write about the next time!!!

Loneliness

2005-05-27T17:35:00.000+09:30

There was a child that had every possible thing life could offer it at its age. His parents saw to it that he got the best toys, best books and best clothes, so that he could be the best amongst his friends. Everybody envied him for all that he had and all that he was. Yet, the spark in his eyes was missing and he was not as happy as rest of the kids his age. Although his parents made sure he got the best of the material world, did not understand that their separation had created a void in him which could never be filled. A child who had all the opportunities of becoming a bright young man, had been impaired by this psychological impairment called loneliness. This is not a plot for a typical movie about how some kids get into bad company or worse yet drugs.

Loneliness is a feeling everybody feels at some point in life. Some of us as kids would have experienced it since we did not have any siblings or were left alone in a hostel, some of us as adolescents who did not have a partner of the opposite sex when the whole world seemed to be partying in pairs, still some of us as adults when we couldn't find our better halves and a few of us at old age when our soulmates were taken away from us. It leaves us empty and gives a feeling of not being cared for. Isn't that the worst that could happen to us, knowing there are about 6 billion people walking on this planet and there is not one person for you. This of course joined with self-pity leads to disastrous effects.

I have heard that in some parts of the world people have resorted to befriending dogs, cats and other domestic animals to overcome loneliness, and in a few other places people are resorting to pet rocks whom they care for as their babies and talk their hearts out to them. I can't imagine how worse life could get for these people. Is it their mistake or their circumstance that they can't find a single person to talk to when there is no scarcity for humans in this world?

There are a few ways we could avoid loneliness even if we cannot make another person be with us during our low days. Diaries are best companions, which can take just about anything that we have to say to it. There is no fear of hurting it or boring it with our words. It is a good listener for people who are not lazy to pick up a pen and write down. Books come next, which have infinite knowledge to provide us. Drowning in a novel is one of the best ways to forget the world around for a while and live in an imaginary world. The Internet is probably another great invention to avoid solitude. If books can give us infinite knowledge, then the Internet can give infinite to the power infinite knowledge in a fraction of the time. Hobbies are also good ways to distract ourselves and keep us busy in a constructive way. Indulging in sports is yet another way to avoid a feeling of loneliness.

Some people claim that they prefer solitude to being in someone's company. It is understandable that everybody needs their space, but at the same time it is unfathomable to be alone at all times. Makes me wonder how such people could survive the silence and the emptiness. I am not sure if I would call it a talent or a disease to live alone. But, I would never blame them because hasn't it become a way of life in such a fast-paced world to meet so many people and yet to not know them. As the saying goes -
"In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely.
In the country, people are quiet but few are lonely."
How true...

Nightmare with Hair

2005-05-18T17:04:00.000+09:30

One fine day I decided to get my haircut. I usually don't pay much attention to my hair since I consider it as just another part of the body, whose job was solely to grow. But, I started noticing (after a few glances in the mirror) that not only was I losing hair drastically, but it was refusing to grow too. After that incident, I decided that I must spend 5 to 10 minutes everyday with my hair, if not nourishing it, atleast talking it out of falling. In a few days it so happened that the hair was being really obstinate and wasn't listening to any of my pleas. That's when I decided it was time for me to take action on it rather than it taking action on me!

The next step was to find out who was the cheapest hairstylist in town, so that I didn't have to burn a huge hole in the pocket trying to act on my insolent hair. Having found the hairstylist of my liking, I decided to walk in when convenient for me only to realise that getting my hair cut needed a prior appointment. Phew! What a major task I had ahead of me. I finally booked an appointment for the next saturday, dreading each minute I had to spend looking at my hair, which was now giving me threatening looks. Until saturday I couldn't make up my mind which style I must go for. I was thinking of all the famous personalities from Princess Diana to Hillary Clinton, and their hairstyles. I finally decided that I should ask the beautician what would suit me rather than me coming up with something really ridiculous. Afterall as any Indian I wanted value for the buck and I wasn't paying her peanuts.

The day finally arrived and as usual I was late for the appointment. The lady was not only irritated because I was late, but I had walked in just when she was going to close. Imaginably, I did not get the best of treatment initially, but had to pacify her, and tell her my woes with respect to my hair. She finally made a decision of what would suit me and I thought it best to go with her. Quietly I sat through the operation of hair dissection aka hair styling. At the end of it, when I did look into the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself. I had layers of hair all over and no two hairs seemed to be of the same length. Well, I guess that is in vogue now. Anyway, I thanked the lady and came back home feeling happy with my triumph over my hair.

But, my happiness was short-lived. The day after the D-day, my hair again started revolting and wouldn't stay in the way it was supposed to for the particular style. It was all over my face and most irritatingly over my eyes. All my efforts of pulling it and holding it behind went wasted. I felt so helpless that I couldn't do anything about it until it grew back. That's when I realised that fighting was futile and I had to accept the way my hair was. Thus ended the Hair War!

Of Engineers and Technology!

2005-05-17T02:14:00.000+09:30

Engineers are said to be architects of the world and make it a better place to live. After all engineers are the ones who invented wheels and brought about cars, can we imagine a world without transport in this day? They invented bulb and brought light to our lives. They invented transistor and made computers, which have now become a gateway to loads of other things. Having done all this, the engineering community is still not satisfied and now they delve into creating men of their calibre through technology. Artificial Intelligence as the name suggests is putting in our intelligence into a machine and trying to make it smarter than ourselves. It is like evolving from a dumb parent to a smarter child.

Is that intelligent or stupid time alone will tell. Haven't we seen umpteen sci-fi movies where the future holds machines invading mankind. Does that mean that we are making machines intelligent today to wipe us away from earth one day? Nanotechnology is another field growing rapidly these days. If anybody has read the book Prey by Michael Crichton, they would know how these nanoparticles could conspire against us. So, does that mean technology is a boon or a bane?

We are so intrigued not by our immediate neighbours but neighbouring galaxies and their inhabitants. The 21st century will probably see us communicating with aliens in galaxies lightyears away from us, but what about the old couple living next doors to ours who need some help during their last few days on planet earth? Have we ever seen or spoken to them, the answer is most probably NO!

How many of us in the next few years are going to remain in touch with our childhood friends? Before 19th century, people used to pay a visit to each other's house and maintained the bond, after that came the telephone which reduced visits but still had friends and relatives calling each other frequently. Now is the age of emails where we send emails to friends and await a response for a few months and after a few years the link is broken.

Life has no doubt become fast and convenient now. If there was a time machine to transport us back to the 14th century, I am pretty sure none of us will be able to survive. We are indeed indebted to the engineers for bringing about so many radical changes with all their unimaginable efforts. But, I just hope that they do not attempt to change the basic laws of life in pursuit of bigger goals.

Valley of Gods - Barossa

2005-05-10T17:07:00.000+09:30

They say that Wine is the drink of Gods, doesn't that make Barossa Valley the Valley of Gods?
This heavenly place is situated about 50 kilometres North of Adelaide. The drive is beautiful considering the lovely landscapes Australia is blessed with. But, the drive is forgotten once you enter the realms of Barossa. Her arms lay open beckoning you to enter her and explore her to your heart's content.

The 50-odd vineyards have their own cellars and wine-tasting centres, each one exhibiting its own beauty. I got to visit a few of the famous Winemakers who supply red and white wine to the whole world, and I was surprised how much knowledge was needed in this field. Ironically, all I knew about wine was that it was made of grapes. Little did I know how much was involved in making the wine to suit the taste buds of different corners of the world.

The first vineyard that we visited was the Grant Burge. When the men were busy tasting their wines and making decisions whether or not to buy, we women were busy exploring the place. They had a beautiful park with a lovely fountain and a canopy with creepers of grapes hanging from above. The grapes were small, but tasted sweet. We took a couple of snaps and moved to the next vineyard.

The second on the agenda was Bethany. This was located atop a tiny hill. It seemed like a family of winemakers and wasn't too big. We didn't have much to see or do here. After that we headed to Chateau Tanunda which was in the place called Tanunda in Barossa Valley. This place was architecturally beautiful. The entrance made me feel like I was entering paradise through a few stairs, that led me to a lawn made for the game croquet surrounded by huge red roses staring up from their stems. Apparently roses grow well where grapes grow and hence the whole of Barossa had roses in all colors and shapes.

We wanted to try our hand at Croquet, which is a game close to golf, so we borrowed the clubs and balls from the people inside and played it for awhile. The game was quite interesting and required a lot of concentration. After a game, the men were more anxious to accomplish what they had come there for. While they were tasting the wine, we women were emptying the bowl of biscuits which was supposedly to be had alongwith the wine. The lady behind the counter was very patient and opened about 20 bottles and explained each of their speciality, the grapes they were made from, their year of picking, the particular kind of food each wine would go with etc. I was amazed by the details and realised how much attention was given to the process. Phew! If only I could make my own wine at some point.

By this time we were all so hungry and were ready to stop at the nearest restaurant for any sort of food. Luckily for me (and a few others), there was a Pizza takeway called Avanti close to Chateau Tanunda. The Pizza there was one among the best that I have ever had (considering I am a Pizza-lover). After the heavy pizza, we went to Penfolds Wines. This looked like a posh winemaker. As usual, the men were busy tasting all the expensive wines and we women were chatting away with what little we knew about wine and wine-making. After that we went to this place where they were having helicopter rides to give an aerial view of Barossa Valley. Although they charged $20 for a 5 minute ride, it was well worth it. The beauty from above was breathtaking and I didn't realise when I entered the helicopter and when I got out of it. The straight lines that the grapes were planted looked more perfect from above.

After experiencing the enchanting beauty of Barossa Valley, it was time to go back home. I had gathered a little bit knowledge about the different types of grapes and the wines they formed such as - Shiraz, Chardonnay, Riesling, Cabernet Sauvignon etc. I also got to know that a few other citrus fruits were involved in winemaking alongwith oak. The taste of the wine widely depended upon the year of its picking and how much the grapes had matured. It was a common observation that men preferred red wine while the women preferred the white, I am not sure what the reason could be. The next time I had ordinary grapes, I started wondering what wine it would have become if it were not to be on my plate!

Roman Holiday

2005-05-04T16:09:00.000+09:30

The famous saying "All roads lead to Rome" came true to me as soon as I got married! My fiance and I had planned a romantic honeymoon to Italy. It took almost a month's planning and a lot of research to get the best deals for flight and stay, not to mention that our trip was to be in the best part of European weather - Summer. In the end, thanks to Pegasus Travels, we had a fully packed itinerary for our 7-day stay in the ancient Roman Empire.

Lufthansa carried us from good ol' Chennai to Frankfurt and from there to Rome. As soon as we landed in Rome, I got the feeling that I was in a land not very different from my own country. The Airport was very similar (if not worse) to the Chennai Anna International Airport. It took us nearly 2 hours to get our baggage. We waited in anguish with our co-passengers, all of us fearing that our baggage might be lost. After that incident the Roman Experience was a very sweet one. We boarded a train to take us to our Hotel which luckily was very close to Statione Termini (which was the centre point in the city to get anywhere).

By the time we checked into our Hotel and got refreshed to explore Rome it was 6 in the evening. We decided to grab something light to munch and headed to the Great Colosseum. The aura of the Colosseum was visible to us miles before we reached it. Although we just missed the entrance time, we were amazed by the architecture that was in place since almost 2000 years. We went around the Colosseum about 2-3 times just to admire the piece of art and were totally in awe.

My husband began explaining to me about the Gladiators and how they fought to entertain the royal family. The brutality of those times sent a shiver through my spine.

The next day, we went to Fountain de Trevi. This fountain is known for visitors coming there and throwing coins into it, wishing they would come there again. We too wished and tossed a couple of coins over our heads and wished we could go to Italy again. The wish is yet to come true!

After the coin tossing, we went to the Piazza de Spagna or the Spanish Steps. There was a church at the top of the steps and a tall monument. The place was full of people relaxing and enjoying the sunny day.

What is Rome without the Vatican? Our next destination was the Vatican City which was about 20-30 minutes by bus from Rome. First we visited the Castello San Angelo which used to be a fort during war times to protect soldiers and store weapons. This was right opposite to the St. Pietro Basilica. Wonder why they built a holy place and then built a fort, my guess was to protect the church from hostile beings.

The St. Peter's Square was one of the most beautiful places I had visited in my life. I couldn't blink for the first few seconds, trying to capture the enormity and the architectural excellence of this old place of worship. It only got better on going inside. The shrine had a bird-like glass bringing in rays of light inside the church. The ambience was peaceful and gave a divine feeling. The marble sculptures felt like they had lives in them and were narrating stories from different centuries to me. The one that touched me most was the sculpture by Michelangelo of Mother Mary carrying the body of her son Jesus on her lap after he was crucified.

After admiring the interiors of the holy church we wanted to explore the exteriors and we found that we could climb 369 steps to reach the top of the Cupola and have a grand view of the Vatican City. The sight was breath taking. If only I could pause that moment forever.

The next day we visited the Vatican Museum which was close to the St. Peter's Church. There were paintings and sculptures by different artists of the 14th and 15th centuries. I was amazed by the techniques used 500 years ago that still gave the paintings a life-like look. There was a lot of attention to detail. The Cistine Chapel where Michelangelo had painted the walls and the ceiling on being requested by the Pope himself, was an eyeopener.

Rome has an ancient feel all over with the buildings, walls and even the roads reminding us of Roman empire eons ago. One such magnificent architectures is that of Piazza de Venezia. Although we couldn't find the story this building, there was an equestrian king standing tall and mighty. It looked like a memorial of some kind.

On the whole the trip to Rome gave me a satisfaction of lifetime. I sincerely hope that the wish I made at Fountain de Trevi comes true and I could go back to this historical wonderland once again!

Mangrove Trail @ St.Kilda

2005-04-27T16:04:00.000+09:30

St. Kilda is a place not very far from Adelaide (about 20 minutes drive from Gepps Cross towards Pt. Wakefield). I had heard about it from my husband's friend. The speciality about this place is that it has an unusual trail which is about 2 kilometres long on a swamp land filled with an uncommon tree called Mangrove.

The trail is actually a boardwalk that meanders through a forest formed by these Mangrove trees on backwaters and salt marshes. Mangrove as the name may suggest has nothing in common to our sweet Mangoes. These plants in fact produce a fruit similar to berries and although we were not able to taste it, found out that it was salty. What is so unusual about these plants is that since they thrive in swamp areas, their roots are anaerobic and cannot get enough oxygen required for photosynthesis. In order to inhale oxygen the roots tend to grow above the ground and they look like little fingers growing all over near the parent tree. When the tree grows older, apparently the roots even grow on the trunk and branches in order to fetch enough oxygen to keep it surviving. It is so surprising to see how nature takes care of itself.

The leaves of the Mangrove trees are small and green. They have crystals of white salt on their surface resembling morning dew. Our group was bold enough to taste the crystalline formation and we were amazed that the taste was the same as cooking salt. Some of us were even considering plucking a few leaves in order to save salt expense (El-cheapos)! According to the information guide given to us before we started the boardwalk, the concentration of salt in the backwaters is so much that it seeps through the trunk to the leaves of the tree. That also explains why the fruit is salty.

The flowers born by the tree have a beautiful fragrance that lingers in some part of the trail. These flowers then become fruits containing seeds. These fruits fall close to the parent tree and the seedlings give birth to daughters growing under the parents’ wings. If we thought only fauna had attachment towards their young ones, looks like we were mistaken!

These trees are home to various types of creatures both under water and above. The underwater creatures consist of various types of fishes, dolphins, crabs and tadpoles. Other creatures taking shelter in the Mangroves include spiders, mosquitoes and different types of birds.

The spiders are interesting species with respect to their habitat. In the Mangroves, the spiders form intricate webs (which would be intriguing to the best of architects) and the most astonishing thing was how each of the million webs had a single curled up dry leaf suspended at the centre. The logic behind this was that they could hide in the curl of the leaf from falling victims to birds. The web played an active role in catching prey for the spiders. I never realised until then the importance of the spider web. We noticed a few insects trapped in some of the webs and thought that those spiders were going to have a gala feast that night!

Coexisting with the Mangroves in this forest are Samphires. Samphires are smaller plants in green and red colours. They taste like a common vegetable with a salty tinge. In fact, these Samphires literally fight for space with the Mangroves. A combination of these two plants gives the dense forest a very pleasant feel. The 2 kilometre walk went like a breeze since we were beneath the canopy of the Mangroves and the atmosphere was moist, even though the sun was blazing outside.

After the Mangrove trail, we went to this huge playground meant for kids at St. Kilda. There were about a 1000 kids of various ages playing in the giant slides, swings, see-saws etc. Even we adults felt like kids once we were there and began to play in some of those big toys. It was a beautiful experience remembering how carefree we were while we were young. The playground was very colourful and was a perfect end to a wonderful day.

My Adelaide Experience

2005-04-23T23:10:00.000+09:30

Adelaide was unknown to me for the better part of my life which would be about 21 years. After that when I started following up Australian Cricket, I got to know that there were other cricket grounds in Australia besides MCG and SCG. The Adelaide Oval was where our Indian tigers blasted the great Aussie players in a historic win at their own soil. That event etched Adelaide in my heart because of the fact that it was a lucky stadium for India and we Indians get all sentimental about our country not so much when it is at war but more when it is playing Cricket!

Adelaide was still a city in a distant continent to me at that time. I had been to Europe and America apart from being born in Asia, but never thought of Australia as a place I would be going to in the near future. But, as luck would have it, my Prince Charming hailed from this lovely place in the heavenly continent known for its citrus apart from the Cricketing Champions.The day I knew Adelaide was where I would be heading next, I started learning about the commonly used jargons here and believe it or not people say “no dramas” here for “no worries” (which is also used). Initially as any common man would think I used to think where am I staging a drama to not be playing it and then it struck me that I was mistaking the meaning. But, the people here are very soft and helpful.

I was surprised and shocked to know that the visa period to enter this land of dreams would take about 6-7 months, but was willing to wait that period considering the better times ahead. And, the wait was well worth it once I entered this beautiful country. The Adelaide airport was smaller than our Chennai Anna International airport, but definitely a 1000 times cleaner. What caught my attention was that there were cute little dogs running around to smell and detect suspicious goods carried by people entering into this city. It wasn’t just the dogs that astonished me, but the suspicious goods they were searching – fruits and other edible items. I had never heard of any Airport searching for this kind of stuff in passengers, bombs and other destructive stuff were understandable. I learnt only after sometime that these people here were containing a particular type of fly called “fruit fly” from entering this state and hence quarantine on fruits!

All the ordeal of flying a 9-hour flight over 24 hours, losing some of my favourite snacks carried all the way from our sweetmeat shops in Chennai and the long wait for visa, came to an end when I saw my Husband walking towards me wearing my favourite combination of red and black. That was not all, he had booked a limousine to show me around Adelaide and take us back home. The house was decorated with balloons and party papers that nearly brought tears to my eyes, when I entered our “home sweet home”. I had never dreamt of something more romantic on the day of our coming together.

From then on, Adelaide brought me to meet so many different people at different walks of life. Getting to know each of them was a cherish-able experience. The various welcoming parties held for me and that we held for others brought me lot of joy and made me feel important. I have become a better cook now than I used to be as a graduate student surviving self-cooked meals to save on money spent in fast-food joints. I was surprised to know the number of Indians living in this small city. When an Indian Mela was held there were about 1000-1500 Indians in all and some had not attended, so presumably there could be about 2000 of our countrymen here.

If there is one country more laidback than Australia, I would love to know about it. Most months in the year seem to have a long weekend here and people love partying during these holidays. Mother Nature has been kind enough to bring sunshine to Adelaide all these days of my being here. We have been to most of the beautiful parks, vineyards and surrounding areas that make this place heavenly. Each time I keep wondering how they are able to maintain this vast land with so less people. Even if each person in India were given a square kilometre of land and asked to keep it and maintain it for the rest of his life, I am sure it won’t be as clean as it is here.

For more information about Adelaide, please visit - http://www.touradelaide.com/

Marriages are Made in Heaven... Contd

2005-04-22T16:29:00.000+09:30

Once the young lady got the visa after the 7-month wait, she thought that now with her love she was able to conquer the Australian High Commission. Alas! How mistaken she was...
The first few days of getting the visa were of course fast and filled with excitement with the anxiety in meeting her better half after such a long period. But, little did she know that her visa problems were far from being over.

She landed in Australia with all the dreams of a new bride beaming in her eyes and it just doubled on seeing her lover. The days that followed were painted with red roses and incessant candles. The couple was on the verge of forgetting the tough time they had gone through with the Dimia (remember our beautiful lady?) and life was becoming picture perfect. But, how long can anyone live in dreams, reality does strike with a bang and brings us back to what we must do to survive according to Charles Darwin's Evolution Theory - Survival of the Fittest!

Our lady now realised that she couldn't stay home all day with stars filled in her eyes, but had to put her education to use and earn some bread to make life better for both. So, she starts looking out for jobs and realises her American qualification hardly carries much importance in this country. Not giving up hope she keeps trying only to find that jobs that she is qualified to do require Security Clearance which is only given to the Citizens of the Commonwealth of Australia who have a 10-year trackable history, which means that she should have been from either America, UK or obviously Australia! To become a citizen with her visa would take a minimum of 4 years forget about having a 10-year history. The government thinks that after this long period people become patriotic to Australia and have no bad intentions toward this country. Is that true?

Anyway, back to our lady in the story, she decides the best option she has is to enrol in University so that she can continue doing what she likes doing. She tries and enrols for a PhD with one of the best Universities closest to her location. Officials are impressed with her credentials and are ready to get her an admission and use her talent. Sounds like something good finally was destined to happen to her. But, as luck would have it, the administrative clerks in the University decide that her VISA is not enough to grant her admission. After all the promises and wait for the Aussie visa it was back to square one. Nothing could be done in this country until you are an Australian Permanent Resident or an Australian Citizen!

Our Dimia still claims that the status of our story's heroine is the same as that of a Permanent Resident just that the word "Permanent" would be omitted from all legal documents until the completion of a 2-year wait period. The wait-period being defined as a test to the genuity of her relationship with her spouse. Ridiculous is what comes to mind! What relation does getting an admission into a University have with her love for her husband. This would sound funny in most countries but is very much true in this country. Are marriages really made in heaven? Because, if they are then they need no tests even after 200 years...

Marriages are Made in Heaven, but Finalised at the Australian High Commission

2005-04-22T16:11:00.000+09:30

A young man and woman living continents apart met each other and fell in love so deeply that they didn’t find distance a barrier and were prepared for the 4-month long wait to be together to start their lives as man and wife, although being wedded ahead. That is how began a love story that is still continuing as an intercontinental affair after 7 long months of desperation and agitation. What transpired in between is a saga and differs very little from couple to couple, but the fact of the matter is that this story is true for every Foreigner marrying an Australian Permanent Resident.

Poets describe their pain in living separated from their lovers for brief periods. But, here are cases that are separated indefinitely for the simple reason that the Australian High Commission has not decided their fate. And, it is not that these unfortunate people are not worthy of entering a developed country and serving the same. These are not terrorists seeking revenge, these are not spies seeking inside information, these are not refugees seeking permanent asylum, but these are innocent people in love seeking to be with their beloved, these are professionals highly qualified and willing to make a change, these are youth with all the energy and passion towards Life, and more importantly law-abiding citizens who have paid a huge sum to join their better half. So, what is it that’s stopping them?

The Australian Immigration Department known by the name Dimia (Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs), which could otherwise be mistaken for the name of a bewitching lady, promises a Partner Migration or Spouse Visa to be granted in 4-6 months time provided all the documents are submitted. Makes us wonder why it takes 4-6 months in the first place because the documents that are demanded are quite strong evidences to prove the authenticity of the candidate and his past. Taking into account that they have an important decision to make viz. whether they want this candidate to be a future citizen of Australia, 5 months seems plausible enough. But, what happens in these 5 months and beyond is not evident to the common people who are awaiting their visa approval any day by mail after the end of the promised period. They are prohibited from contacting the Embassy with the threat that their applications could be rejected or delayed if they are curious to know as to what is happening to their fates in these 5 longest months of their lives.

After that gruesome wait, if they take a simple and harmless route of contacting Dimia by email there is no response whatsoever, which takes a nail-biting month to realize. After the month, they get a little more confident as to give Dimia a phone call, to hear our lovely lady’s voice, since its past the processing period and its high time they find out what really is going on at the embassy. The typical responses are “No decision made yet” or “Your file is being processed” or worse still “We have posted it to you” whereas there is no mail from the gorgeous name and we end up cursing our postal system. Even that can get only so far since it can’t take more than a couple of weeks to deliver a registered mail or we think it shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks to make a final scrutiny of our worthy applications beyond the allotted time, and keep wondering what is it that is delaying our uniting with the lifetime mates.

It is bad enough to bear the separation and the anticipation without the interferences from the rest of the world who think they are being supportive of our situation, but hardly do they realize how much tougher it makes it for the unfortunate couple. Onlookers have the freedom to make suggestions at their own will and offer sympathies just when not needed, and this makes life worse. They make it seem as though we are at fault for not obtaining the four-lettered V-word (VISA) in the time we first said. This brings us into something called the “withdrawal syndrome” where we feel like avoiding people just so that we don’t have to answer all their embarrassing queries. One of the usual comparisons that are made with respect to the Australian visa is with that of the American Dependent Visa (H4). Thanks to the dotcom bubble, many people now know the procedure of how the American visa works, and also that the duration for spouse visa takes within a week to process and the married couple can be together from the day of their wedding. Isn’t that the significance of a marriage?

This period of separation certainly helps in understanding each other well, but also leads to doubts, uncertainty, craving and beyond all detachment to a certain extent because obviously the couple is bonded by the sacred knot, but find it difficult to understand the meaning of it. Some even begin to think if they made the right decision, leading to more heartbreak because things done cannot be undone. Since they cannot go back on their decisions and also cannot go forward, they complain and forget the happiness that matrimony usually brings. So, does this process tend to make people schizophrenic? The more the delay, the more pain it causes and hence affects people that much since they indulge in self pity – one of the worst enemies of mankind.

Who can help? We have to depend on our charming lady Dimia to assist us if she wills. The officials up there can really help make lives better for thousands of such married yet separated couple by avoiding backlogs, making faster decisions when they have all the necessary documents and speed the process on the whole. It definitely is annoying when they cannot respond to our queries in a more pleasant way than to shout back or give a rather unsatisfactory response. After all we have paid our dues and expect to be respected in return at the least. It is incomprehensible why the dependent visa to this country alone should take such an indefinite period and worse still why we cannot apply for other visa forms to be with our beloved when the dependent visa is being processed.

This is just the cry of one such spouse who is separated from her husband for 8 months into their marriage, knowing well that others have gone through similar fate. I am sure each individual had different experiences, but it all boiled down to one thing namely SEPARATION. Thus ends the love story of the young man and woman who fell in love thinking that love was enough to conquer the world, but didn’t realize that love alone was not sufficient to conquer the Australian High Commission!