Marriages are Made in Heaven, but Finalised at the Australian High Commission

A young man and woman living continents apart met each other and fell in love so deeply that they didn’t find distance a barrier and were prepared for the 4-month long wait to be together to start their lives as man and wife, although being wedded ahead. That is how began a love story that is still continuing as an intercontinental affair after 7 long months of desperation and agitation. What transpired in between is a saga and differs very little from couple to couple, but the fact of the matter is that this story is true for every Foreigner marrying an Australian Permanent Resident.

Poets describe their pain in living separated from their lovers for brief periods. But, here are cases that are separated indefinitely for the simple reason that the Australian High Commission has not decided their fate. And, it is not that these unfortunate people are not worthy of entering a developed country and serving the same. These are not terrorists seeking revenge, these are not spies seeking inside information, these are not refugees seeking permanent asylum, but these are innocent people in love seeking to be with their beloved, these are professionals highly qualified and willing to make a change, these are youth with all the energy and passion towards Life, and more importantly law-abiding citizens who have paid a huge sum to join their better half. So, what is it that’s stopping them?

The Australian Immigration Department known by the name Dimia (Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs), which could otherwise be mistaken for the name of a bewitching lady, promises a Partner Migration or Spouse Visa to be granted in 4-6 months time provided all the documents are submitted. Makes us wonder why it takes 4-6 months in the first place because the documents that are demanded are quite strong evidences to prove the authenticity of the candidate and his past. Taking into account that they have an important decision to make viz. whether they want this candidate to be a future citizen of Australia, 5 months seems plausible enough. But, what happens in these 5 months and beyond is not evident to the common people who are awaiting their visa approval any day by mail after the end of the promised period. They are prohibited from contacting the Embassy with the threat that their applications could be rejected or delayed if they are curious to know as to what is happening to their fates in these 5 longest months of their lives.

After that gruesome wait, if they take a simple and harmless route of contacting Dimia by email there is no response whatsoever, which takes a nail-biting month to realize. After the month, they get a little more confident as to give Dimia a phone call, to hear our lovely lady’s voice, since its past the processing period and its high time they find out what really is going on at the embassy. The typical responses are “No decision made yet” or “Your file is being processed” or worse still “We have posted it to you” whereas there is no mail from the gorgeous name and we end up cursing our postal system. Even that can get only so far since it can’t take more than a couple of weeks to deliver a registered mail or we think it shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks to make a final scrutiny of our worthy applications beyond the allotted time, and keep wondering what is it that is delaying our uniting with the lifetime mates.

It is bad enough to bear the separation and the anticipation without the interferences from the rest of the world who think they are being supportive of our situation, but hardly do they realize how much tougher it makes it for the unfortunate couple. Onlookers have the freedom to make suggestions at their own will and offer sympathies just when not needed, and this makes life worse. They make it seem as though we are at fault for not obtaining the four-lettered V-word (VISA) in the time we first said. This brings us into something called the “withdrawal syndrome” where we feel like avoiding people just so that we don’t have to answer all their embarrassing queries. One of the usual comparisons that are made with respect to the Australian visa is with that of the American Dependent Visa (H4). Thanks to the dotcom bubble, many people now know the procedure of how the American visa works, and also that the duration for spouse visa takes within a week to process and the married couple can be together from the day of their wedding. Isn’t that the significance of a marriage?

This period of separation certainly helps in understanding each other well, but also leads to doubts, uncertainty, craving and beyond all detachment to a certain extent because obviously the couple is bonded by the sacred knot, but find it difficult to understand the meaning of it. Some even begin to think if they made the right decision, leading to more heartbreak because things done cannot be undone. Since they cannot go back on their decisions and also cannot go forward, they complain and forget the happiness that matrimony usually brings. So, does this process tend to make people schizophrenic? The more the delay, the more pain it causes and hence affects people that much since they indulge in self pity – one of the worst enemies of mankind.

Who can help? We have to depend on our charming lady Dimia to assist us if she wills. The officials up there can really help make lives better for thousands of such married yet separated couple by avoiding backlogs, making faster decisions when they have all the necessary documents and speed the process on the whole. It definitely is annoying when they cannot respond to our queries in a more pleasant way than to shout back or give a rather unsatisfactory response. After all we have paid our dues and expect to be respected in return at the least. It is incomprehensible why the dependent visa to this country alone should take such an indefinite period and worse still why we cannot apply for other visa forms to be with our beloved when the dependent visa is being processed.

This is just the cry of one such spouse who is separated from her husband for 8 months into their marriage, knowing well that others have gone through similar fate. I am sure each individual had different experiences, but it all boiled down to one thing namely SEPARATION. Thus ends the love story of the young man and woman who fell in love thinking that love was enough to conquer the world, but didn’t realize that love alone was not sufficient to conquer the Australian High Commission!