Generation Trap

Life is such an interesting thing, with so many chapters to it. In a project’s life cycle we come across so many phases, but when we compare that with our own life, it is not very different except that life takes after it at a very large magnitude. Thinking in those terms made me analyse the different phases in life with respect to opinions and how we change with time.

When we were kids, parents were our Gods. We listened to everything they said as though it was our duty to do so. After all we had not seen the world and they were more experienced than us, or at least that was what was imposed on us. So, we assumed that everything they said was true and they knew what they were talking about. Slowly when we went to schools and met different people, learned new things, we realised that not everything taught to us was really the truth and we began thinking for ourselves. In this process also came opinions. If we had learnt it in one way and others did it the other way, we just could not accept the change. That brings ego into the picture. Ego and comparison are topics that require separate blogs on their own.

Once we leave our parents’ homes and start living our own lives, we begin to form our own opinions and formulate our own theories of how things should be, looking at our surroundings. After this transition has happened, if someone, be it our much loved parents, comes and asks us to go against our opinions, it gets us agitated. We never pause to think that there could be something right about what they are saying. Even before thinking, the shield that we have created in our minds rejects it. It goes both ways. Even parents can not accept that their children have grown up and could be speaking right from their own experiences. I am not sure if this is ego or if it is a lesser form of the monster.

At later stages, when we have our own kids, we start behaving the same way our parents did to us, correcting our kids every now and then, imposing our thoughts on them. Agreed that it is all done in good intentions, but do we ever look back at how our childhood was? Don’t we want to groom our kids the way we want to see them as adults? Then what was wrong with our parents doing the same with us? By the time we realise these things, it is too late and our parents are probably not around us to be sympathised with.

To me, there is nothing wrong with having opinions or ego (to a certain degree), but when it comes to affecting others, is the point we should control ourselves. Just like we hate being imposed with others’ opinions, we must understand that our opinions or advice can be a bane to someone else at whatever phase of life they are. That does not mean that we should see our loved ones doing wrong things and spoiling their future, but in cases where we can help them, I think we should do it more politely so that they don’t feel overwhelmed. I just hope I can practice what I preach!