Life just gives you time & space; it's up to you to fill it.

Friday, June 24, 2005

I Forget to Remember

I watched the movie Memento yesterday and apart from being intrigued by the movie, I learnt a very important thing - how valuable our memory is to us. The movie was excellent and made me think for quite a while. Imagine living your life in reverse, I would go crazy with such a thing. That's when I began to appreciate how much better my life is the way it is rather than knowing the end before the beginning. Then why would I go to an astrologer when I know life is more exciting because I do not know my future? I drifted away from the topic because of my contempt and disbelief towards astrologers...

There are so many incidents that we wish to forget so that it doesn't keep haunting us. I wish I could forget my grades at school, I wish I could forget my first crush, I wish I could forget the first time my teacher punished me, the list goes on and on. I want to forget bad things forever. But, only now do I realise how dangerous it could be to live without a memory that lasts just about a few days/hours. This condition is medically termed Anterograde Amnesia. Having to live with photos and notes all my life that would tell me (not remind) what I am supposed to be doing, is very scary. I can't imagine the number of people that could take me for a ride by manipulating the photos and the notes.

There are times when we had to do something, but we completely forgot about it. It is irritating when we can't rely on our memory and we have to write down the things we have to do (remember the "TO DO" list?). But, imagine having to wake up every morning not knowing who you are or where you are and what you are supposed to be doing. The movie Memento brought this perspective on a serious note and the movie 50 First Dates brought the same on a lighter note. I think these movies remind (again on memory?!?) us normal mortals how blessed we are compared to people who have short term-memory losses. I was shocked when I saw that guy in 50 First Dates whose memory lasts just 2 minutes and introduces himself after every 2 minutes.

A dialogue in Memento that caught my attention was - "I can't remember to forget my dead wife". What an irony in life to want to forget his own wife when he is forgetting every other thing without an effort. Gets me thinking if I ever want to forget certain things while I want to remember certain others...

Monday, June 20, 2005

In the name of the Guru

Past weekend I got the lovely opportunity to visit a Gurudwara with our friends. It was the first time for me and definitely an eye-opener. All I knew about the Sikhs as a community was that they were strong-willed and bodily strong, and hence entered the defence so easily, apart from of course the Kushwant Singh Sardarji jokes. This trip to the holy shrine of the Sikhs brought me closer to their culture and gave me new perspectives. Being from the south, Punjab to me was really a state of high yield fields, the Golden Temple and some chaos thanks to our beloved neighbours - Pakistan.

The Gurudwara we visited is located at Berri - again a land of farms in South Australia. They supply citrus juices to the whole world. The drive as such was a long one lasting about 3 hours, but seemed short because of good company. We reached the Gurudwara around 11 am and were greeted by friends. The hospitality these people exhibit goes unmatched by many other communities. We were invited to have breakfast at the pantry. The breakfast was all prepared by volunteers, and I was surprised by the enthusiasm with which the women cook for so many people. The number of items and the taste of each, expressed the love with which it must have been prepared.

After having snacks, we entered the prayer hall. The hall was so inviting with the bright colored fabrics and beautiful flowers. It did look like the Guru was right there amongst his devotees when the prayers were being offered. There were around 150 people in all and yet the hall was so peaceful. The Bhajans (Paat) were so soft and soothing to the ears. It was a little different from the usual Poojas I have attended in the Hindu temples. The prayer went on for about 2 hours and after that my friend (who is a Sikh) explained to me about the 10 Gurus and the sufferings inflicted on the Sikhs by the Muslims. I was shocked by the torture they had to go through to stick to their beliefs, and the best part was inspite of all the torture, not one Sikh got converted to Islam. Now I understand from where they get their strong-will.

After this we were asked to have langarh, which is similar to prasad but is a full meal. We found ourselves again in the pantry with lot of goodies. Again, I was surprised by the number of rotis the women must have made and the quantity of chole etc. The people are very friendly and are ready to become friends with just about anybody. Not surprisingly, most of these people do farming and have lived in this place for almost 2 generations. They have created a good niche for themselves in cultivating citrus fruits, grapes for wine and a few other varieties. Looks like they are really successful at it from the cars they drive and the homes they live.

It was a very good experience for me and hope to return again someday soon.

Golden Temple @ Amritsar

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Life and beyond...

Today I got news that one of my father's closest friends passed away suddenly. I too got close to him during the past few years. I had never seen a person like him. He was close to 80 and yet always bubbling with energy. His enthusiasm sometimes surprised me because I being quarter his age didn't even have quarter of his energy. His encouraging words are still ringing in my ears. His pleasant face with a constant smile keeps coming in front of my eyes. I am still not able to digest the fact that he is not amongst us now.

I never gave much thought to what would happen to someone so close to us once they left this world. But, this incident makes me think more into life and death. I have heard theories which say that when someone dies they are reborn into this world in the form of another body. How much this is true is unverifiable, except of course for incidents where people can remember their previous lives. I have not seen one such case, so haven't been able to believe it completely.

Some theories say that God sent us into this world with a purpose and until we are able to achieve that goal, we keep entering into this world. I am not sure how far this is true either, because even if a majority of us are not able to find our goals in a few lifetimes, there should be atleast a handful who can and would not have to be reborn. But, the population explosion on our planet disproves this theory. Apart from that, what goals could God really want his children to achieve which he can not accomplish himself?

Some people believe that when their loved ones die, its just their body that is being taken away and the soul always remains around whom they loved during their lifetime. Although this can not be proved, it seems the most comforting explanation for those who are shattered by the death of a close one. Maybe they become our guardian angels and protect us all the time. I wish that uncle is also always with me, I know his blessings are even if he isn't.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Birds of same Feather Flock Together

I always thought that if I had not entered the engineering field I would have been in the field of human psychology, knowing how interested I am in observing people's behavior. I have been lucky enough to visit a few countries around the globe and notice the behaviors of people of different origins. Basic human psychology made me find the similarities between all these people and astonishingly there are many traits that are common to one and all. Even though we belong to completely different races (I am not a racist!), different backgrounds, different geological locations etc, I guess there are a few things which are human(e) and nothing can really change these traits.

I used to think that it was just Indian mentality to search for fellow Indians as soon as he enters foreign land. But, I noticed in many gatherings that people belonging to the same nationality flock together and have a tendency of forming individual groups. These groups usually do not allow many foreigners (people whose motherland they are occupying) to enter unless they are married or are really really close to one of the group members. This is just a rare occurrence.

I have found that these groups sometimes get divided into sub-groups with members who consider themselves next to kin and want to always hang out together. The similarities occur by consequence of either the husbands or the wives working together or if not either of the 2 then the kids going to the same school. It is interesting to also note that once these members come together (by way of one of the above stated reasons) the rest of the consequences happen as though they were meant to be, and intensifies the closeness of the relationship further.

Some of the things that these groups commonly indulge in:
1) Weekly Friday night get-togethers at one member's place with the rotation happening every week. These get-togethers are meant to be stress-relievers for the breadwinners in terms of catching up with their close ones (away from home) and having a complete night-out. The men get their favorite wine and the women are able to display their culinary skills by trying out different dishes and getting appreciative words from co-members.
2) Sometimes the Friday night get-togethers extend to Saturday night if all the members find themselves free and are ready to play a game and have gourmet dinner prepared by the excellent chefs at home. The menu usually changes to different international cuisines each week to have a variety on everybody's platter. If not a game then maybe a Blockbuster movie that requires unanimous votes from all the group members (otherwise the person who chose the movie might get beaten up).
3) During the week, the men and the women get to meet each other at work if they are in the same company. The women exchange recipes they found really interesting over the phone and the kids get to play with each other once in a while. There are email forwards to show that each person has not forgotten the other.
4) If there is a long weekend coming up in a particular month, there are huge plans made in advance, only to find that when the long weekend does come, the members' routine doesn't change one bit. Even if it did, there would probably be short trips to "beautiful" locations, in which case each family would carry their part of the lunch with them and once the location is reached, a nice spot is chosen for the food to be laid and attacked upon. After that a few games are played and the luggage is packed to drive back home.
5) Birthdays are another common meeting occasions. Most times the victims (person whose birthday it is) are given a surprise by other members and have to act as if it was the best thing that could have ever happened to him/her. How many times can you surprise a person with the same reason!
6) Ethnic festivals, even if not celebrated back home, are celebrated with grandeur. It is an occasion for each member to boast about how they used to enjoy the same festivals with their parents while they were kids (Come on! Grow up people!). The new generation kids are given a historical explanation of what is supposed to be done so that the tradition carries on.
7) If any one of the families is going back to visit his homeland, then it is party time for the rest of the group. They can get all that they wanted from their real relatives back home and this person is obliged to get it all (isn't that part of the closeness they have shared). Besides the individual items, there are sweets and savories that he must get for each of the other members.
8) The group grows by spreading their wings farther. New members having similar backgrounds are added once in a while and are introduced to the basic rules. These new members are made comfortable pretty soon by the veterans and it is made sure that they enjoy the gatherings, so that there is no shortcomings.

Having said all that, I must say that these micro-groups are much better than relatives. They share a relationship that is beyond give and take and also doesn't involve much expectations. Even if one member is ill or is any trouble, everybody else is there to help. That is the basis that these groups really carry on. The help and the understanding is mutual. They are all-weather friends unlike some relatives who are just fair-weather friends.