Memoirs of Birthdays

I got my birthday gift before my birthday and have even started using it. That made me reminisce my childhood memories of birthdays. Birthdays used to be a grand affair since that used to be the only special day when all children would treat you with unusual respect and the day you would definitely get a new dress, carry toffees to distribute to everybody at school and have a party at your own house and in which you get to be the chair person, without having to be bossed over by guests. You would get to open all those surprise gifts wrapped so beautifully. Wow! Birthdays were next only to Diwali. Only because Diwali brought with it more festivity and more food!

I started growing out of Birthday parties once I entered my teens and found it very embarrassing to wear a “colour dress” to school when everybody else was in their uniforms. With that stopped the distribution of sweets and party at home. I am sure my mother would have been waiting for that day. But, nevertheless birthdays were the most awaited, because you would still get gifts from parents and close friends. It also meant that you were a step closer to becoming an adult and making your own decisions. With college, the tradition changed from party at home to party at a restaurant. Mom’s worries just ended and dad’s worries had begun, having to take care of the bills. End of teens marked the end of childhood and a grand entry into adulthood.

After college, birthdays became just another day as a graduate student living a life away from home. Calls from family reminded me the beginning of a new year. The day didn’t seem as special or as eagerly awaited for as before. There were even times when I could have easily forgotten the day for it was so boring. I am wondering if it was a sign of aging or of more responsibilities. Either of them wasn’t doing me any good.

Marriage did change that to an extent, but the anxiety of growing older still bugs me. I feel like I am growing older than I was born to grow. But, when I thought further about it I realised, isn’t that the wondrous part of life, where everyday is so different from the previous day and you could never exactly predict a day even though you have been living so many of it. I realised that I needed no gift, living was a gift by itself and the surprise happened everyday. Come to think of it, isn’t everyday a birthday if birthdays meant growing older and celebrating our being on planet Earth?

Generation Trap

Life is such an interesting thing, with so many chapters to it. In a project’s life cycle we come across so many phases, but when we compare that with our own life, it is not very different except that life takes after it at a very large magnitude. Thinking in those terms made me analyse the different phases in life with respect to opinions and how we change with time.

When we were kids, parents were our Gods. We listened to everything they said as though it was our duty to do so. After all we had not seen the world and they were more experienced than us, or at least that was what was imposed on us. So, we assumed that everything they said was true and they knew what they were talking about. Slowly when we went to schools and met different people, learned new things, we realised that not everything taught to us was really the truth and we began thinking for ourselves. In this process also came opinions. If we had learnt it in one way and others did it the other way, we just could not accept the change. That brings ego into the picture. Ego and comparison are topics that require separate blogs on their own.

Once we leave our parents’ homes and start living our own lives, we begin to form our own opinions and formulate our own theories of how things should be, looking at our surroundings. After this transition has happened, if someone, be it our much loved parents, comes and asks us to go against our opinions, it gets us agitated. We never pause to think that there could be something right about what they are saying. Even before thinking, the shield that we have created in our minds rejects it. It goes both ways. Even parents can not accept that their children have grown up and could be speaking right from their own experiences. I am not sure if this is ego or if it is a lesser form of the monster.

At later stages, when we have our own kids, we start behaving the same way our parents did to us, correcting our kids every now and then, imposing our thoughts on them. Agreed that it is all done in good intentions, but do we ever look back at how our childhood was? Don’t we want to groom our kids the way we want to see them as adults? Then what was wrong with our parents doing the same with us? By the time we realise these things, it is too late and our parents are probably not around us to be sympathised with.

To me, there is nothing wrong with having opinions or ego (to a certain degree), but when it comes to affecting others, is the point we should control ourselves. Just like we hate being imposed with others’ opinions, we must understand that our opinions or advice can be a bane to someone else at whatever phase of life they are. That does not mean that we should see our loved ones doing wrong things and spoiling their future, but in cases where we can help them, I think we should do it more politely so that they don’t feel overwhelmed. I just hope I can practice what I preach!

Victor Harbour

We had planned a picnic to Victor Harbour last Saturday and the trip was quite eventful unlike the 2 other trips I made to the same place. We were 11 adults and a kid in all hoping for a good break from daily routine. All I knew of Victor Harbour earlier was that, it had a beautiful beach and that it was one of the most commonly visited places in South Australia next only to Kangaroo Island. This time I decided to be prepared by going through the tourism websites to know more of what to do and things to see.



The hour’s drive to Victor Harbour was beautiful, enjoying the intermittent patches of sunshine between showers. We were a bit worried if we had selected the wrong day for a picnic to the beach. But, once we reached the beach, the weather was a little more stable. The 20 minute walk on the jetty to Granite Island was again marred by a short drizzle, but was enjoyable nevertheless. Granite Island is a small island which is supposed to have rocks made of granite. The rocks there didn’t quite seem like granite, but we wouldn’t know unless they are polished. The island is very famous for the Little Penguins that are supposed to be living there, but they only come out during the dusk. We weren’t fortunate enough to catch up with the Penguins, but the Island as such was breath taking. There is a horse tram every half hour carrying people from the Island back to Victor Harbour and vice versa, but for people who can walk, that is probably the best thing.




It was a 2 hour walk around the island on a trekking path overlooking the sea. Thankfully the sun had decided to shine by then. Half way through the walk, our German friend spotted a Seal basking in the warmth of the water through his binoculars. It was a beautiful sight looking at it frolicking in the water for a while and then totally disappearing. It was interesting to note how the waves hit the rocks every now and then as though they were doing a duty very diligently. Some of the rocks were really huge and looked like they were performing a balancing act. The turquoise colour of the water was amazing and seemed very serene. Didn’t feel like taking my eyes off it.



We had found out from the Visitor’s Information Centre that this was the time for whales to come to Victor Harbour for mating. I had never seen a whale before and was even more excited on knowing that they had spotted a mother and a baby whale in a nearby beach. We decided to drive to the place called Basham’s Beach before it got dark. While driving, we noticed a beautiful rainbow forming and lo and behold there was another rainbow which looked like the reflection of the first one. It was a breath taking sight and we had to catch it in our cameras. The colours were really sharp and it made the day even more stunning.






We realised that the whale watching beach wasn’t too far and wanted to catch both the whales and the rainbows together. As soon as we reached the place, we were happy to see a huge whale pretty close to the shore. We could make out its body through the fountain of water it was breathing out. Out of nowhere we noticed another fountain happening nearby and that is when we realised that that was the child. He was a pretty active baby, splashing around the mother and moving away now and then. Made me wonder how much attachment animals share amongst themselves. There were a few dolphins playing around too. I didn’t know until then that dolphins were a kind of whales, reading the pamphlet from the Whale Centre was an eye-opener.



The sun was setting and the clouds were taking over, so we decided that it was time for a hot coffee before heading back home. We stopped at Café Primo back at Victor Harbour and spent an hour sipping coffees and discussing the day. The return drive was a silent one each reflecting on his/her own thoughts of the beautifully set day.