One more day to go!

Another day in the hospital, but as promised by the doctors, every day seemed better than the previous. Today almost all the tubes were gone by the time I entered dad's room in the morning. I had to collect a copy of the Histology report from the Asia Centre for Liver Disease in a separate wing of the Glen Eagles Hospital. As I was just entering dad's room, I saw that Dr. Tan and his team were checking on dad. He informed us that dad will be discharged on Saturday - woohoo! one more day to go! He also said that he would let us know about dad's chemotherapy early next week based on his recovery. The Oncologist feels that he would be ready for his next round of chemo by next week, although we are not so sure that he should assault his body further so quickly.

Dad looked very fresh after a clean shave and less things attached to his body. The only tube still remaining is the rectal tube for draining the excess blood from the surgery. The collection bag is pinned and hidden under his robe, so it is hardly visible. The Physiotherapist (Prithvi - a girl from Karnataka), who seems to be the favourite of all patients because of her pleasing ways, walked in to take dad for a walk and exercise. He came out with flying colours, climbing steps, doing sit-ups and other stretches for his abdomen, without complaining. He even made 3 rounds of the Liver Unit. Prithvi was very happy with his motivation and and asked him to repeat the exercises twice every day and walk as much as he could starting slowly. This way the wounds apparently heal quicker.

Dad was allowed soft diet today, which meant he could have porridge and oats. Since his appetite has died down and the taste of the hospital food is not exactly very inviting, he is able to handle very little. Hopefully, he can resume normal food soon. It feels really sad to look at him make faces at the porridge just as a child would upon looking at vegetables. He just has as minimum as he can and leaves the rest. I have gotten him into Sudoku as well, so he is solving some puzzles to pass time while he is not reading.

And, the verdict is out!

Today I woke up early in the morning since Mom returned from the hospital to wish me for my Birthday. We got ready and went to the Murugan Temple before going to the hospital. The day started out nice and warm, receiving phone calls from close relatives and friends sending their wishes. Dad blessed me as usual and I was really happy to see the gifts sent by my dear hubby for both dad and myself. That was a pleasant surprise for me and dad was extremely happy about it, although he is still not permitted to eat any of the sweets or fruits. He could still smell the flowers and admire the beauty! Lately he has been appreciating all the friendly calls made to inquire about his health and he smiles upon hearing about them. The Nurses had removed the tubes coming out of his nose, to collect the gastric juices, and that made him look a lot brighter and more cheerful today.

We were waiting for the doctors to come by and tell us about the histology reports that we had been waiting for to tell us if the surgery was successful. Dr K.C. Tan and his team visited dad and said that an Oncologist would come and speak to us. Suddenly the day seemed very dull with the sky threatening to pour at any moment. We entered the Perumal Temple and it rained like never before. I was not sure if it was a normal thing or if it was because of the lunar eclipse that was to happen later in the day. We stayed there until it reduced and caught a cab back to the hospital.

At around 4 pm, the Oncologist Dr. Peter Ang walked in to our room and asked dad about his chemotherapy regimen so far. I was silently hoping and praying that he would say that dad would not require any more chemotherapy and that he was completely cured with the surgery. But as they say, if all prayers came true then there is no God. He explained to us that since dad had undergone Radio Frequency Ablation for one of his Liver Tumors, there was a "high risk" of recurrence. This meant that he would have to complete his existing cycle of chemotherapy (2 more rounds) and then would have to be assessed to find if he would require more chemos. That was not exactly the type of news I was hoping to hear on my birthday. But, looking at it on the brighter side, atleast dad is clear for now, since he also mentioned that the surgeons had removed all the cancer cells they could see and even some of the microscopic cells which could not be picked on any of the scans.

Dad will have to do followups every 2-3 months to make sure that the ugly thing did not show up its face once again in dad's system. Which is very normal for any type of cancer. Some doctors even advise preventive chemotherapy in the form of injections in out-patient wards to keep the cancer under control. I just hope that this way we can fight the battle against the monster and show him Who's his Daddy! Poor dad has been slightly depressed hearing that he would have to endure the treatment a little while longer just when he thought that all the hardship was over. We tried cheering him up saying that this was very normal and that he was perfectly alright, but he did not seem to hear any of it.

What I do not understand is that, according to statistics, Radio Frequency Ablation is successful in killing the tumors in 88% of the cases and yet the doctors feel that it is a high risk procedure. In that case, what really is the best procedure to make sure that the cancer never comes back?

Home alone at Singapore

This morning dad was shifted from the ICU to the general ward. His room had a good view and overlooked some beautiful flowering trees. The room looked like a Hotel room except that it came with some medical equipments. We were told by the nurses that dad's lungs had become small (weak) due to the surgery and hence he was not breathing properly, also, the cough and plegm did not help much. We had to remind him to take deep breaths every now and then while he was awake. Since he was still sedated heavily (1 mg of morphine per hour), he was sleeping most of the time.

Today the Indian doctors (Dr. Nandakumar and Dr. Neelamegham) were leaving to Chennai by the evening flight. They said all positive things to dad before leaving. We are now on our own.

Met cousin Vishak today for the first time in 3 years. He had not changed much although he looked more mature now. He was inquiring about studies in Australia, now that he is completing his 12th grade. He stayed for a little while and returned home to study, but Uncle and Aunty stayed with us for most of the day.

We decided that mom should stay back with dad in his room just in case he needed anything in the night. So, here I am all alone at our apartment :-)

One more day at the ICU

Today was dad's first day post surgery. We thought they would shift him from the ICU to the general ward, but the doctors wanted to monitor him a little longer and hence decided to keep him for another day in the ICU. We were told that dad had undergone a pretty major surgery (3 procedures in 1 go) and they had to make sure that he was completely out of danger before shifting him. He was still highly sedated so that he did not feel the pain. His face looked a lot better than yesterday although he was not able to speak very clearly due to the tubes coming out of his nose. The Physiotherapist made him sit for an hour in the morning to enable blood circulation.

Since the ICU did not have any chairs we could only stay for a few minutes each time, this worked for us since dad was awake only for a few minutes anyway. After meeting with the doctors we went to the Perumal Temple and Sri Veeramakaliamman Temple at Serangoon.

When we got back, we had a huge session on positive attitude from my Uncle and the Doctors. We were told how important it is to maintain a positive attitude at this stage of dad's recovery.
Apparently one of the patient's, a 72 year old lady with secondary cancer to her lungs and brain, survived the disease only because of her attitude to fight! Hearing such positive stories gave me some hope as well. We were giving dad a lot of positive vibes about his recovery and the support he had from all our friends. I hope it works in helping him recover quickly. He was smiling a few times today and also told the doctors that he wanted to spend some time relaxing at Adelaide. How I wish that happened sooner rather than later!

The waiting room at the Liver Unit is a nice lounge with a few couches and a TV with some satellite channels. Mom and I spent whole of today there visiting dad every hour to make sure he was fine and giving him company while he was awake. Hope tomorrow would see him in a better shape!

Dad's Cancer Journals - 3

The D-Day arrived. Mom and I were preparing ourselves for the long day ahead. We went to the hospital all positive even though I was shit scared and the weather outside didn't help either, it was a wet day pouring heavily intermittently. The other thing was the 2 doctors who were supposed to come from India to overlook the surgery, were delayed by 7 hours which meant that they would only arrive after the surgery was completed, not of much use to dad. But, in spite of all these shortcomings, dad was very positive and that was contagious. The nurses started preparing him by 10 and he was made to lie on a stretcher to be taken to the Operation Theatre. Mom, Uncle and I wished him luck and his answer was - "I will be fine, you guys don't worry". I was shocked!

We waited outside the OT for almost 7 hours for some news about the surgery. Mom, Uncle, Aunty and I took turns while the other took a short break to stretch. At about 3 we found that the flight taken by the Indian Doctors - Dr. Nandakumar (Dad's family doctor) and Dr. Neelamegam (Liver Specialist at Chennai) was arriving in a short while. That was a change from the monotonous wait. Although that didn't matter much since we expected the surgery to be
nearly done. We were told by Dr. K. C. Tan's assistant that the colon surgery took 2 hours and the liver another 2. By 5 pm when the Indian doctors just arrived, we heard back from the OT and they said that Dr. Tan had completed and the other doctors were stitching dad up. We met Dr. Tan and he explained to us that even though the PET/CT scan had only shown 3 active nodules of tumor, when they opened there were in fact 4. They were able to remove 3 of these
using Wedged Resection of 3 segments and did an RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) to burn the other small tumor. He suspected that these tumors may have been necrose (meaning dead cells), but had to confirm that with a few more tests. I guess the future treatment would depend on this and the presence of any micro particle of cancer (which I hope does not exist). The wait unfortunately is still not over.

Dr. Tanvir showed us the specimen of the tumor in the colon and the 3 segments of the liver resected. It was interesting to see the villains which caused so much pain to dad. They were pretty big in size and ugly to look at. I wanted to take some snaps, but he said that they would give us snaps later. All this while dad was being dressed and prepared for the ICU. Gleneagles Hospital has a separate level for Liver patients and understandably a unique Liver ICU. It looked like a state-of-the-art room with all sorts of machines and gadgets. Soon dad would be a part of it.

We were advised that only 2 people could visit him at a time and also his immunity level would be extremely low after the surgery, hence it was better that not many people flock around him, anyway he would be sedated. So, the Indian doctors, Uncle and Aunty decided to leave for the day. Mom and I stayed back and waited till the nurses had done all the necessary procedures. When we finally went in, we saw dad in terrible pain. Poor thing was shouting "its paining, its paining". The nurse increased his Morphine dosage so that it relieves him a little bit. When we
spoke to him, he half opened his eyes and started asking how the surgery went and all the technicalities as though he was fully conscious! That amazed me again. Due to unbearable pain, he started asking how long the pain would be, we were at a loss and had to say not too long (which I really wish is true). Once dad started drifting to sleep we left the ICU. Had I stayed there any longer I am sure I would have cried :-(

We decided to go to the Perumal Temple at Serangoon to take our minds off the whole thing. Today being Varalakshmi Nombu, there was a big Puja happening there. It was good to see a ritual being performed so piously outside India.

I just hope that Dad's pain reduces tomorrow so he can be moved to a normal ward, but the bigger hope would be that he is totally free of the beast!

Dad's Cancer Journals - 2

This morning we were supposed to meet Dr. Tay Khoon (what an irony, a doctor's name meaning "blood") who is a Gastro-intestinal Surgeon. He would be operating on dad's colon tomorrow. He seemed like a pretty friendly guy and explained the whole procedure to us. That was the first of many times of listening to the description of the surgery on the same day. I was nodding my head and asking questions knowing very well that in spite of understanding most of it, we would still be unprepared after the surgery for many things. He warned us that there would be a lot of tubes sticking out of dad's body after the surgery, I am sure I would break seeing him like that :-( One of the things he said sent shivers through me - He said that there is a possibility that even after opening up the patient doctors sometimes feel that the tumor is positioned badly or if they cannot surgically remove all the lesions, they might close him without doing anything. What would be the point of going through all this pain then? But then I realised that it is a Doctor's duty to keep his patient and their family well informed. And also, if I were to count the number of scares I got over the past month and a half, I would probably count the number of stars quicker!

After this we went to the Muruga Temple at Tank Road, River Valley. It was a pretty big and clean temple. From here we went to Serangoon just in time for the Main Puja at Mariamma Temple. Right opposite to it was the Hotel Saravana Bhavan, we could hardly resist the temptation of lunch there. After a quick lunch it was time to meet Dr. K.C. Tan (one of the best Liver Surgeons in whose hands seems to be dad's life for now). He was busy and hence we had to complete the formalities of getting dad admitted to the hospital. Once we were allotted the room, Dr. Tan and his assistants - 2 Indian Surgical Oncologists Dr. hitesh and Dr. Tanvir, came as part of their rounds and did the second round of explanation. I was surprised how down-to-earth Dr. Tan was, he even joked about Indians being in the IT field all over the world.

Next to visit us was Dr. Ranjut Singh - the Anesthetist. I learnt today that there was a profession called "Pain Coordinator" who takes care of patients' pain post surgery. Makes sense doesn't it? She was explaining how one should not tolerate any kind of pain unless it is mild, because while we withstand pain, we are depriving our body of many important things by making the body concentrating on the pain. According to her a sedated sleep was much better than staying awake and being in pain. After that walked in Dr. Desmond Wai, dad's Gastroentologist, to explain things for the 4th time.

After all the doctor visits, we spent some good time with dad watching a Singapore Tamil Channel on the TV and reminiscing old jokes, while dad had his dinner - the last solid food for a few days. Since the visiting hours ranged from 9 am to 9 pm, we had to leave from dad's room by 9. We let him take good rest for the big day awaiting him.

Dad's Cancer Journals - 1

Arrived at Singapore this evening via Singapore Airlines. The flight was uneventful, except for meeting a funny Indian American co-passenger.

Mom and Aunt had come to the Airport and we took a cab back to the apartment which is right behind the Gleneagles hospital. Met dad after 3 months and was really happy to see him. The chemotherapy had changed him a little bit - loss of hair, dark skin in the palm and feet, weight loss etc. Sometimes it makes me wonder if all this treatment is really killing the cancer cells or the normal cells. Uncle had come home to meet us and it was a good family reunion except for not meeting cousin - Vishak and missing my dear hubby.

Dad's colonoscopy went well today and the doctors have determined where the cancer in the bowel is to be able to operate it day after tomorrow. Dad has to meet a few doctors tomorrow in the morning and has to get admitted in the afternoon for the big surgery on Friday at 1 pm. I hope everything goes well and dad comes out of the operation theatre as normal as he was before all this began!

It makes me think about the exam times when we prepare so much for the final exam and yet all depends on the results. In this case we have to trust and leave everything in the doctors' hands and hope they pass their exam with flying colours in saving a person's life!!!